Cowboys' Micah Parsons explaining bouncing back from pregame puke proves he isn't human

Nov 19, 2023; Charlotte, North Carolina, USA; Dallas Cowboys linebacker Micah Parsons (11) in his
Nov 19, 2023; Charlotte, North Carolina, USA; Dallas Cowboys linebacker Micah Parsons (11) in his / Jim Dedmon-USA TODAY Sports

Micah Parsons shockingly didn't appear in the box score in Week 10, so you he had something special planned for Sunday's game against the Panthers. Sure enough, Parsons went scorched earth in the Dallas Cowboys' cozy 33-10 win.

Parsons finished with nine pressures, six hurries, 2.5 sacks and three hurries, per Pro Football Focus (subscription required). His 40% pass-rush win rate was a career high and the game marked Parsons third game this season with eight or more pressures and his eighth game with five or more pressures.

All-Pro-level performances have become standard for Parsons, but Sunday was more impressive than most given he battled a stomach bug all game.

After the win, Parsons revealed he took one too many scoops of C4 energy powder, which athletes generally take before a game or weightlifting session.

The slight overdose caused Parsons to vomit on the sidelines. Rather than take a few series off or head back to the locker room for an IV, he stayed in and put together arguably his best game of the season. Despite the big performance, Parsons was adamant that he won't be breaking his pregame routine again.

Cowboys' Micah Parsons explains throwing up on the sidelines vs Panthers

Just the latest evidence that Parsons isn't human.

This won't quite go down as Parsons' "Flu Game," but there's something to be said that he had a career game despite vomiting profusely on the sidelines. As for the other Cowboys who took a scoop of C4, couldn't one of them have warned Parsons of the side effects?

One scoop is the standard for most athletes/weightlifters, but a first-timer like Parsons probably should've erred on the side of caution. We'll just call this a learning experience for the All-Pro defender, who acknowledged on social media postgame that he's going to limit his intake to a half-scoop next time.

That is, if there is a next time.

While the energy powder had Parsons feeling ill on the sidelines, it seemed to do its job as Parsons was flying around the field.

“It’s supposed to get you hype. I definitely felt the difference, Parsons told reporters, via The Athletic. "I just didn’t expect my heart to feel like that. … Maybe it was the amount that put me over. It was pretty intense. I might do a half scoop (next time). I don't know if my life is worth three sacks."

It's great that Parsons is able to laugh this off and it's even better he's not feeling any long-term effects from the sickness. He should be ready to feast against the Commanders' decimated offensive line on Thanksgiving Day.

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