The Landry Hat
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Dallas Cowboys: 10 ways to prepare yourself for the 2017 season

By Michael H. Vu

ARLINGTON, TX - DECEMBER 26: Ezekiel Elliott #21 of the Dallas Cowboys celebrates with teammate Travis Frederick #72 after Elliott scored on a touchdown run against the Detroit Lions during the first half at AT&T Stadium on December 26, 2016 in Arlington, Texas. (Photo by Tom Pennington/Getty Images)
ARLINGTON, TX - DECEMBER 26: Ezekiel Elliott #21 of the Dallas Cowboys celebrates with teammate Travis Frederick #72 after Elliott scored on a touchdown run against the Detroit Lions during the first half at AT&T Stadium on December 26, 2016 in Arlington, Texas. (Photo by Tom Pennington/Getty Images) /
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FRISCO, TX – MAY 31: Indianapolis 500 Champion Takuma Sato takes a photo of the Dallas Cowboys headquarters, The Star, on May 31, 2017 in Frisco, Texas. (Photo by Cooper Neill/Getty Images for Texas Motor Speedway)
FRISCO, TX – MAY 31: Indianapolis 500 Champion Takuma Sato takes a photo of the Dallas Cowboys headquarters, The Star, on May 31, 2017 in Frisco, Texas. (Photo by Cooper Neill/Getty Images for Texas Motor Speedway) /

2. Go to Dallas

Know how those haters like to say, but you never even been to Dallas? Sure, we can prepare a few liners to get us through this one.

I got one better for you. How about going to Dallas? Pack the car. The kids. The cat. All of that. And just go. No really, go.

The best part? If you live in the states you don’t need a passport. Every Cowboys fan should visit Jerry’s World. And when you get there, please pick up some In-N-Out Burger for me. Don’t worry my friend, they’re open late.

Thanks.

3. Cheeto?

Pronouncing Chidobe Awuzie might be fun at first. I’m sure analysts will be prepping too.

But fear not, as I’ve said all along, Mr. Awuzie will become a household name. In the meantime, let’s just call him by what he likes. “Cheeto.”

Easy peasy.

4. Talk like Drew Pearson

(In my Heath Ledger, Joker voice)

Mr. Pearson changed things. Forever. There’s no going back now.

Somewhere, some place, there’s a Philadelphia Eagle fan in pain. I will do everything in my power to not help that person. Good luck.

Maybe we should thank them for knowing more about the Dallas Cowboys than we do. Eh. Maybe not. We can always thank the Redskins and Giants fans for that.

Duh.

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