Week 11 Fantasy Football Report

By Carden Hedelt aka MBIIIEffect

What’s up, you fantasy fools?

The past few weeks have continued in a long line of strange weeks in the NFL. Eddie Royal continues to put up numbers, Chris Johnson is proving to be the fastest kid alive and has been putting up good numbers except when Kerry Collins decides to steal the show. Let’s not forget that Kurt Warner is proving to be one of the best fantasy QB’s around right now, too.

Pardon my faux pas, but only Ricky Bobby can accurately descrive Warner’s performance this year.

While these preseason duds are scoring tons of points, preseason studs like LaDanian Tomlinson, Marc Bulger and Braylon Edwards are hurting owners who spent high picks on them. I got Edwards in the third round, and he’s had a pretty serious case of penguin hands this season.

The big question, like why does Ian gripe so much about the lack of a good fullback when the Eagles’ real problem is having an offensive line that would rather pass protect than run the rock, comes down to who is hot right now. Who can put points up for me? Who is worth me running back to my computer during commercial breaks to check stats? Who can keep me from being the laughing stock of my league?   Have no fear, MBIIIeffect is here.

For the Dallas Cowboys, start everybody. I said it. Start everybody. Except Patrick Crayton, of course. The Cowboys have their backs against the wall. They’ve had two weeks to prepare and take a long, hard look at their season. They need to win all their NFC East games to have a prayer for the postseason. I feel a revolution happening in Dallas, and it starts this week.

RB’s

Tim Hightower: Start ’em

Yes, I’m talking about the Tim Hightower that provided one of my favorite video moment of the season sofar on Monday night, as the Arizona running back shattered the visor of San Fran DB Mark Roman. Hightower possesses great speed and power, not to mention a great football name, and he should have no problem finding the end zone against the Seahawks on Sunday.

Maurice Jones-Drew: Sit ’em

Runners haven’t been faring well against the Titans defense this year, and Maurice Jones-Drew, one of my favorite backs in the league, will have the same struggles. Jaguars quarterback David Garrard isn’t helping MJD much, and a team has to have a balanced offense if they hope to find a win against Tennessee.

QB’s

Brady Quinn: Start ’em

I hate Notre Dame. Their treatment of Ty Willingham in comparison to former Bill Belichick sidekick Charlie Weis is disgusting and absurd. They’re awful this year. Now that you’ve endured my mini-rant on Notre Dame, Brady Quinn is breathing new life into the Browns offense. He had a strong showing against the Broncos with a short week, so look for a more prepared Quinn to shine against a struggling Bills defense.

Shaun Hill: Sit ’em

Don’t ever even think about starting Shaun Hill again. He’s not a quarterback you want starting for you, I promise. His numbers looked early in the Monday Night game, but a trained eye will see that his two touchdown tosses required extraordinary efforts (one illegal effort, in my opinion) by Hill’s receivers. I also called his interception late in the game. If the frequent reader that I watched the game with, a fellow Cowboys fan, would like to verify that I said “once he gets into the red zone, Hill is going to throw a dumb interception,” now is the time to verify my eerily accurate predicting abilities.

WR’s

Laveranues Coles: Start ’em

It warms my heart to see former Redskins shine in new towns, and Laveranues Coles has done just that with gunslinger Bret Favre joining him in the green half of New York. Coles should be on the other side of at least one BrettFavre touchdown.

T.J. Houshmandzadeh: Sit ’em

T.J. Houshmandzadeh is going to have a bad day against the Eagles. All the Bengals are. It’s going to be very, very ugly.

D/ST

Carolina Panthers: Start ’em

Daunte Culpepper, prepare to meet Julius Peppers.

Cleveland Browns: Sit ’em

You might be compelled to start the Browns D against a struggling Bills offense. Marshawn Lynch should have a big day for the Bills. Trent Edwards might even get in on the scoring.

Quick Hitters Here’s something new I thought I’d try. They’re just a few of my thoughts on things going on in the NFL that could help you down the road sometime.

• Brady Quinn likes tight ends. Kellen Winslow is a great tight end. Brady Quinn plays on the same team as Kellen Winslow. Catch my drift?
• Ray Rice is starting to get some time. The kid is averaging 4.6 yards per carry right now and could be the most dependable back in Baltimore right now.
• Cadillac Williams is coming back, but it’ll take time for him to get up to speed. Keep tabs on him through week 14, he could help you come playoff time.
• The Packers run defense just went from bad to worse with LB Nick Barnett going onto the IR.
• Chris McAlister and Dawan Landry have also been placed on IR, but the Ravens defense will continue to be their strong suit.
• If you don’t get NFL Network, get to a sports bar tomorrow night. Putting a game this good on NFL Network is a crime, and sign from the NFL that they’re ok with bamboozling fans out of quality games.

Don’t forget to set your lineups before tonight’s game!