Tony Romo And The Purple And Green Stuffed Animal

I don’t read “Glamour” magazine, but I am sure most Washington Redskins fans do so they already saw this article.

Yes, my friends, it’s another Jessica Simpson-Tony Romo masterpiece. As if we haven’t been bombarded enough with this relationship fiasco, this new article really is a zinger.

"“What he’s done for me is irreplaceable,” Simpson says about her newfound confidence. Wearing a printed, off-the-shoulder peasant dress and stacked heels, she settles into a booth at her favorite Dallas bistro. (Romo is off playing golf but shows up at the end of the interview to greet her with a big purple and green stuffed animal. Jessica is clearly delighted.)"

A big purple and green stuffed animal? My god, Romo! You are killing us! What the heck are you doing? Although we’re fascinated that Jessica Simpson thanks you for saving her career and helping her “find herself” do you have to show up at her damn interview with a purple and green stuffed animal? Is this really what happened?

I hate to say it, but in this five-page interview diatribe, it gets progressively worse almost right off the bat. For example, check out this Q&A insert:

"GLAMOUR: Let’s talk about the tabloids. On the one hand, it’s the name of the game. On the other hand, where is the privacy? Do you read them?JS: I’m not going to lie and say that I don’t want to see Tony and me in the pictures. It is good airplane reading if you throw it away when you get off; I’m good at that. I am not the type of person who believes everything she reads, but I like to look at photos and see what people are wearing. That’s interesting to me. Do I read the stories? Not really. I try not to read blogs. The comments are extremely harsh."

OK, did Jessica Simpson just admit she enjoys the tabloid frenzy and the invasion of privacy with the daily photo shrine of these two at ever single grocery store stand? I for one don’t want to see Romo and Simpson with blue cake all over their faces as I am picking up my case of Miller Lite. I don’t enjoy it. It makes me mad.  I am glad she reads blogs, though. JESSICA READ THIS: GET AWAY FROM TONY ROMO!

Check this one out:

"GLAMOUR: Back to the tabloids: People still talk about that time you showed up at Tony’s game wearing the pink Cowboys jersey and he played terribly. What’s that all about?JS: I don’t know–other than me wearing my man’s jersey and cheering him on. And him not playing the way he would’ve hoped and all of a sudden I’m to blame.GLAMOUR: Why take it out on you?JS: Because everybody takes everything out on me! [Laughs.] But that was ludicrous. I don’t understand why they think that I would be a distraction to Tony. Do they really think he can see way far up in that box? No. He’s the most focused person I’ve ever dated. I love Dallas. I love the Cowboys. I grew up watching Troy Aikman and all of the quarterbacks, Roger Staubach…. The great thing about Dallas is there’s no paparazzi."

Jessica, you did not grow up watching Roger Staubach. You were born in 1980. Do you think we are going to fall for your attempt to convince us you are a serious fan of the Dallas Cowboys? Staubach had retired when you were born. You didn’t see one game he played growing up. This is why we blame you for being a distraction. You’re a blonde bimbo. You want all of the attention and you distract our quarterback from the game by going on lavish trips during the playoffs and keeping him away from the playbook so he can bring you a purple and green damn stuffed animal.

Prepare to puke:

"GLAMOUR: In what sense?JS: He’s a motivational speaker. Because he’s a quarterback, a leader. He keeps his team focused. What he’s done for me is irreplaceable. I wrote a song for him called “Back in My Old Boots.” I feel like I’m walking back in my old boots. Jessica Simpson didn’t lose herself along the way.GLAMOUR: What a sweet thing to say about someone.JS: He reintroduced me to myself. I thought that I had to be deeper, more profound and more artsy. You change with the guys you date. [I thought] I had to be more intellectual. Come on–just be yourself! Tony taught me that because he loves me [as me]. He made me feel comfortable [being myself] again."

 It seems Tony Romo is a life-changing leader, which is great news for the Dallas Cowboys. We can expect the highly paid quarterback to lead the Cowboys this season to a record sixth Super Bowl. Anything less won’t be pretty for Tony or his little country girlfriend.