| Team | | 1st Round |
| | 1. Miami Dolphins -Jake Long, OT Michigan
- Bill Parcells does not want to be here at all. He wants to get out of the #1 pick and quite frankly that’s looking next to impossible. They obviously need a QB for the future, and while Matt Ryan is good- neither his arm nor his film command him the #1 overall pick no matter how much all these media guys try to tell us otherwise and Parcells is well aware of that. Jake Long is going to have an immediate impact on a team and can be a left tackle in the long run which is the most coveted position. So why not take him, sign him and then shop him afterwards? If it doesn’t work out, you still have Jake Long…and I’d rather give 35 mil to him than any other guy in this draft
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| | | 2. St. Louis Rams -Chris Long, DE, Virginia- The Rams are going to be pissed off that the Dolphins took the other Long. But the ‘Son of Howie’ will help them not be scored on so easily, where they ranked second to last.
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| | 3. Atlanta Falcons -Matt Ryan, QB, Boston College- I don’t know what to think about this one. I mean word on the street is Vick is doing so well as the starting StatePenn QB he may lead his team to their first PrisonBowl. So maybe he will come back and clean up his own mess? I’m guessing not- and Arthur Blank likes Matt Ryan, wants Matt Ryan, and even though I don’t think Matt Ryan is necessarily worthy of even the #3 pick, I think Blank has it so they get Matt Ryan
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| | 4. Oakland Raiders -Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas
- So you’re probably thinking, “But RB isn’t even listed as a team need?” Well it isn’t there, and head coach Lane Kiffin doesn’t think they need to address the RB this high in the draft. But then again, the head coach has zero relationship with the owner- who just so happens to be mentally insane. Al Davis wants RunDMC, and his latest shopping spree won’t be complete lest he acquires the Arkansas RB.
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| | 5. Kansas City Chiefs -Ryan Clady, OT, Boise State
- If you are a DE looking to boost your sack stats, circle the date you are playing the Chiefs. With that being said, I don’t really like this one. But since the draft stuff doesn’t allow the trades in the mock, I can’t trade down. Ryan Clady isn’t a crazy choice here, and I think he is a worthy top 20 but not top 5. If the Chiefs can trade down I think they will, people have them going for Matt Ryan, but he will be sacked just as often. The Chiefs need to improve that line before they can evaluate Brodie Croyle to see if he will be a key component to their future
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| | 6. New York Jets -Vernon Gholston, DE, Ohio State
- Vernon Gholston is a monster. He is a great player, strong, fast and versatile- a perfect fit for the Patriots! Which is why the Jets are going to take him (not that he won’t be very useful for them as well).
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| | 7. New England Patriots (From 49ers) -Leodis McKelvin, CB, Troy
- It just goes to show you kids- cheating is the right way to go. The Evil Cheatriots cheat last year, get ‘their’ pick taken away, yet keep the crappy 49ers pick. So what happens? Their biggest loss is pro bowl corner Asante Samuel, and this year’s draft class just so happens to have the most value at that position. And they have the 7th pick. It makes me sick and depressed that they will choose by far my most favorite player in the draft this year, who I want as a Cowboy so badly. Life is cruel.
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| | 8. Baltimore Ravens -Glenn Dorsey, DT, LSU
- Once again, I think the Ravens would rather trade down since Ryan is no longer available. But since we aren’t doing that here, take Dorsey who will fit in well here and many don’t even think will be down this far in the draft.
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| | 9. Cincinnati Bengals -Rashard Mendenhall, RB, Illinois
- Most people may disagree here but with the Bengals finding themselves in the hot mess they are in now with one WR out-diva-ing J.Lo on a daily basis and the other just fired WR throwing beer bottles at minors and what not. Housh, as awesome a WR he is, can’t handle the load of the offense. Ocho Cinco will play but he will be disgruntled- and that may affect his stats and the whole team. The Bengals need to diversify their bonds. They now have Utecht, who can maybe help with that aspect. But they need a running game, having that option will help their whole offense. Oh and at 225 lbs Mendenhall should be alright breaking tackles and making blocks.
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| | 10. New Orleans Saints -Sedrick Ellis, DT, USC
- They may still go for a corner here, but they have shown interest in Ellis and if he is available why not take him. They at least addressed some corner issues in free agency with the acquisition of Gay.
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| | 11. Buffalo Bills -Devin Thomas, WR, Michigan State
- The whole WR draft class has been shaken up now after the Mario Manningham positive drug tests and Malcolm Kelly’s poor personal workout. Thomas had a ridiculous season last year, and despite worries that last season was a one hit wonder for him, the Bills need a WR and he’s got a great size at 6’2 216 lbs.
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| | 12. Denver Broncos -Chris Williams, OT, Vanderbilt
- The Broncos need protection for their QB and this guy is a beast.
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| | 13. Carolina Panthers -Jeff Otah, OT, Pittsburgh
- The fourth OT taken after just 13 picks, but the value this year is concentrated between them and the corners, and the Panthers need help here.
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| | 14. Chicago Bears -Felix Jones, RB, Arkansas
- The Bears are coming off a pathetic season and still looking like one of the worst teams in the NFC this year. Why they signed Rex Grossman for another year I have no idea, but they can pick up a QB in the second round. Jonathan Stewart of Oregon would have been a higher pick, but since he had surgery on his foot Felix Jones has moved up in his place.
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| | 15. Detroit Lions -Aqib Talib, CB, Kansas
- The next time the Lions scumbag QB claims they are going to win at least ‘10 games this season’ they should a) not let so many teams convert 3rd down attempts and score points on them and b) improve their 31st ranked running game. Since the RB class is very deep they can address that in the second round.
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| | 16. Arizona Cardinals -Keith Rivers, OLB, USC
- This is the Cards biggest need besides a corner, but apparently they are talking to Antoine Cason who is local but would be a second rounder anyways. They also should address the RB position since overpaid and underperforming Edge has lost his…edge
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| | 17. Minnesota Vikings -Derrick Harvey, DE, Florida
- The Vikings needed to improve the pass rush even before Udezi was diagnosed with cancer so this is a pretty safe pick.
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| | 18. Houston Texans -Jonathan Stewart, RB, Oregon
- The Texans need to build a running game. They went 8-8 last year but 1-5 in their AFC South division, the 2nd hardest division after the NFC East. Granted he had surgery, but he did it early so he could recover by training camp. Oh and there’s that whole 235 lbs but still runs a sub 4.5 40 thing…
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| | 19. Philadelphia Eagles -Calais Campbell, DE, Miami
- The Eagles need to give McNabb a weapon to throw to; McNabb repeatedly voices his opinion about needing more playmakers (especially for him to throw to). But the Eagles ignore him yet again and look to improve their D line while giving their all-pro QB no weapons (and then unfairly blame him for their problems).
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| | 20. Tampa Bay Buccaneers -Mike Jenkins, CB, South Florida
- Another talented good-sized corner that can help the Bucs’ secondary and return game, and I guess you’ve got that Florida connection also.
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| | 21. Washington Redskins -Kenny Phillips, S, Miami- I guess it’s kind of morbid and weird replacing your deceased Cane safety with another Cane safety, but they need help here and Phillips is the best and only one really available this year. I am nervous the evil Redskins will take my favorite WR right before the Cowboys can draft him, but thinking negatively can only bring negative things.
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| | 22. Dallas Cowboys (From Browns) -Limas Sweed, WR, Texas
- It isn’t even really wishful thinking drafting my favorite WR to my favorite team. He is a big, tall and physical WR, is trouble free and handles himself well. E could go higher now that Kelly and Manningham are out of the 1st round, but teams worry about Sweed’s wrist which should still have him available come pick #22.
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| | 23. Pittsburgh Steelers -Branden Albert, G, Virginia
- This guys stock has shot up considerably and they can improve their line after losing Faneca to the Jets. Albert is a gigantic man but an athletic one.
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| | 24. Tennessee Titans -DeSean Jackson, WR, Cal
- First of all, people need to hold off on criticizing Vince Young until he has real weapons. The Titans started that with adding TE Krumpler, and can add to that by drafting speed demon DeSean Jackson. Plus he can fill in the holes on the return game that they lost with Pacman Jones.
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| | 25. Seattle Seahawks -Dustin Keller, TE, Purdue
- This guy gave a jaw-dropping performance at the combine. He is crazy fast and has great ball skills all while looking like he isn’t even trying.
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| | 26. Jacksonville Jaguars -Philip Merling, DE, Clemson
- This guy is a worthy top 20 pick but has been injured which has prevented teams from seeing him work out. But he is back now and the Jaguars would be stupid not to take him.
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| | 27. San Diego Chargers -Kentwan Balmer, DT, UNC
- The Chargers have a pretty complete team and can just draft a really talented player. They don’t have any pressing needs so it’s not like it will hurt drafting a nasty DT.
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| | 28. Dallas Cowboys -Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, CB, Tenn. St.
- Even if the Cowboys get Pacman they still could use an extra boost to their secondary. And if they have both the Cowboys will have put the finishing touches of a rock solid defense.
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| | 29. San Francisco 49ers (From Colts) -James Hardy, WR, Indiana
- Tall receivers are a luxury. I mean tall, this guy is almost 6’6. He is a good player from a tough conference.
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| | 30. Green Bay Packers -Gosder Cherilus, OT, Boston College
- They have to give their new QB at least a chance to prove himself this year or can draft a late round QB. So look for them to draft some protection for whichever non Brett Favre is throwing passes and/or interceptions.
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| | HI, WE ARE THE CHEATERS OF THE NFL. WE SUCK. |
| | 31. New York Giants -Reggie Smith, S/CB, Oklahoma
- The Giants need help in both positions but still have guys there. Why not draft a guy who plays both so they can just fill him in where they see fit?
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