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Octopus’ Draft: Dallas Cowboys Take DRC, Hardy

By thelandryhat

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Well, I thought twice about posting this mock from our regular visitor Octopus, but I thought he deserved his one mock. After going through it, I might have to ban him from doing future mocks 🙂

This is a comedy show in the making, folks. I think he starts off slow, with some unusual pick placements in the first 10, but he warms up and gets some good picks and risks with picks 10-30.

I agree with maybe 60 percent of his picks. I will try and post another mock later this week.

New Mock Contest Rules: I’ve lost track of the order so I think I am going to pick the best ones from here on out. Right now, Steam leads the mocks by two against everyone. But the contest is going to take a change, and I will only post the mocks that I think were well done and well thought out. It makes it more interesting, too. Please, spell check the mocks and do not capitalize all letters. Just look at my old blogs and follow that format. Good luck guys. I think the prize will be a decent one for this non-lucrative blog. Keep them coming.

Team1st Round

1. Miami Dolphins -Matt Ryan, QB, Boston College

  • Everybody knows the big tuna needs a new QB. This isn’t the sexiest pick, but Jessica Alba didn’t declare for the draft this year.

2. St. Louis Rams- Chris Long, DE, Virginia

  • THE RAMS DEFENSE WAS HURTING LAST YEAR. BEATING UP THE OPPOSING
    TEAM’S QB WOULD EVEN THINGS OUT WHEN MARC BULGER GETS PUMMELED.
3. Atlanta Falcons -Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas

  • THE ONLY WAY THE FALCONS PASS UP ON RUN DMC IS IF HE IS INVOLVED IN COCKFIGHTING.

4. Oakland Raiders -Jake Long, OT, Michigan

  • I KNOW AL DAVIS WOULD LOVE TO PICK UP A TD SCORER HERE BUT HE HAS TO
    GO WITH THE BEST PLAYER AVAILABLE. JAKE LONG COULD PROTECT JAMARCUS
    RUSSELL FOR YEARS. BUT IF AT #4 A NEW RUNNING SUIT WAS AVAILABLE, AL
    DAVIS WOULD BE ALL OVER IT.

5. Kansas City Chiefs -Sedrick Ellis, DT, USC

  • HERMAN EDWARDS NEEDS TO DO SOMETHING GOOD IN THIS DRAFT. SEDRICK IS THE ANSWER! IF HERMAN SCREWS UP THIS YEAR IT’S GOODBYE AND GOOD LUCK.
6. New York Jets -Mike Jenkins, CB, South Florida

  • THE JETS GOTTA GO WITH A CB HERE. THEY GOT TORCHED LAST YEAR ON DEFENSE. MANGINI WOULD LOVE TO SCREW OVER THE CHEATING PATRIOTS HERE.CB IS THE PICK.
7. New England Patriots (From 49ers) -Leodis McKelvin, CB, Troy

  • I REALLY THINK CROMARTIE COULD GO HERE, BUT I DON’T THINK HIS STOCK HAS ROSE THAT HIGH JUST YET. BUT IF A BOX OF PATRIOTS HOODIES WITH CUT SLEEVES WERE HERE THEY’D BE GONE.

8. Baltimore Ravens -Glenn Dorsey, DT, LSU

  • IN BALTIMORE LAND THEY REALLY LOVE DEFENSE. THEY SHOULD PICK UP A WR HERE BUT DORSEY DROPPED BECAUSE OF HIS INJURY AND BALTIMORE WON’T PASS UP ON HIM HERE. THE RAVENS HAVE SO MANY PROBLEMS ON OFFENSE THAT I JUST CAN’T SEE THE RAVENS DOING WELL IN 08.

9. Cincinnati Bengals -Vernon Gholston, DE, Ohio State

  • THE ONLY PROBLEMS THE BENGALS HAVE ARE ON DEFENSE AND THEIR PLAYERS GETTING ARRESTED. NOT MANY PEOPLE CAN NAME ANY OF THE STARTERS ON THE BENGALS DEFENSE. WITH A STUD LIKE VERN THAT CAN CHANGE.
10. New Orleans Saints -Malcolm Kelly, WR, Oklahoma

  • LOOK FOR THE SAINTS TO GET A BIG PLAY WR HERE. SOME HELP ON DEFENSE WOULD BE GOOD. BUT I THINK SEAN PAYTON WANTS SOME FAST PACED HIGH SCORING OFFENSE. LOOK FOR THE SAINTS TO HAVE A GREAT YEAR IN 08. WELL AS LONG AS NO HURRICANES DECIDE TO PUMMEL NEW ORLEANS.
  
11. Buffalo Bills -Devin Thomas, WR, Michigan St.
  • WR IS A GOOD PICK HERE. MY ONLY QUESTION IS WHO IS GONNA THROW HIM THE BALL?
 
12. Denver Broncos -Rashard Mendenhall, RB, Illinois
  • MIKE SHANAHAN LOVES MULTIPLE RB’S AND RASHARD IS TRULY A BEAST, AND BRANDON MARSHALL IS HERE TO DESTROY ALL OLD NON-DIGITAL TV’S.

 
13. Carolina Panthers -Ryan Clady, OT, Boise State
  •  THIS IS A TOUGH PICK. DELHOMME IS GETTING OLD. AN O’LINEMAN MAY HELP HIM KEEP EATING CRAWFISH BY HAND RATHER THAN THROUGH A STRAW.
14. Chicago Bears -Brian Brohm, QB, Louisville
  •  DA BEARS REALLY HAVE TO GRAB A QB IN THIS DRAFT. I’M NOT SURE THEY WILL SWING THIS WAY, BUT DO THEY HAVE A CHOICE? HAVE A SEAT REX. OR MAYBE IT’S VINNY TESTAVERDE IN 08.
15. Detroit Lions -Chris Williams, OT, Vanderbilt
  • WHAT WILL MATT MILLEN DO HERE? WR’S ARE DECENT IN THIS DRAFT, BUT THAT’S NOT GONNA HAPPEN THIS YEAR. I SAY GET YOURSELF A GOOD OT. KITNA WANTS 10 WINS BADLY, AND GETTING KNOCKED ON YOUR ASS ON THE FORD FIELD TURF DOESN’T FEEL GOOD. THE LIONS HAVE BEEN LESS RELIABLE THAN A FORD TEMPO. SO WILLIAMS IS THE PICK.
16. Arizona Cardinals -Jeff Otah, OT, Pittsburgh
  •  EVERY YEAR IT SEEMS THE CARDS ARE THE UP AND COMING TEAM. LINE HELP IS A GREAT COMMODITY FOR A YOUNG MATT LIENERT. IS IT TIME FOR KURT WARNER TO PASS THE THROWIN GLOVE OVER TO LIENERT? IF LIENERT CAN STEP UP AND PUT THIS TEAM ON HIS SHOULDERS, WARNER WILL BUY A GROCERY STORE AND PAY KIDS TO BAG THE GROCERIES.
17. Minnesota Vikings -Derrick Harvey, DE, Florida
  •  THE VIKINGS HAVE A GREAT RUN STOPPING LINE. ALSO THE VIKINGS HAVE SOME GREAT PARTY BOATS. BUT THE VIKINGS HAVE LOTS OF TROUBLE SACKING THE QB, THAT’S WHERE HARVEY STEPS IN AND CHANGES THINGS. THATS IF THEY PULL THE PLUG AND MAKE A PICK IN TIME. BRAD CHILDRESS IS LOOKING LIKE A GREAT HEAD COACH IN THE MAKING. IF THEY CAN GET BETTER PLAY FROM THEIR YOUNG QB THEY COULD MAKE SOME NOISE IN 08. AND IF YOU ASK ME PARTY BOATS ARE GREAT ON THE BYE WEEK.
18. Houston Texans -Jonathan Stewar, RB, Oregon
  •  THE SECOND BEST TEAM IN TEXAS MUST GO WITH A RB. STEWART COULD GO HIGHER THAN THIS BUT IT’S HARD TO TELL WITH HIS TOE SURGERY. STEWART LOOKS LIKE A COMPLETE BACK. THE TEXANS COULD GET A GREAT BACK WITH THIS PICK IF HE FALLS THIS FAR. EVEN SO THEY WILL STILL BE THE SECOND BEST TEAM IN TEXAS.
19. Philadelphia Eagles -DeSean Jackson, WR, California
  • THIS JACKSON KID IS BLAZING FAST. IF HE CAN PLAY BIGGER THAN HE IS AND STAY HEALTHY HE WILL BE A GREAT WEAPON. IF JACKSON WAS A LITTLE TALLER HE WOULD BE THE #1 WR IN THE DRAFT. I THINK THIS GUY IS GONNA BE GREAT IN THE NFL AND HE WILL BE A STEAL AT #19. ANDY REID NEEDS SPEED ON THE OUTSIDE………. AND HE NEEDS TO KEEP HIS KIDS INSIDE.
20. Tampa Bay Buccaneers -Limas Sweed, WR, Texas
  •  WITH JOEY GALLOWAY GETTING OLD AND TAMPA’S OTHER WR’S NOT BEING VERY PRODUCTIVE, SWEED IS A PRETTY SAFE PICK. ANTONIO BRYANT WAS BROUGHT IN AFTER SITTING AT HOME ALL LAST YEAR. IF BRYANT CAN KEEP HIS HEAD STRAIGHT AND KEEP HIS JERSEY ON HE COULD BE A HUGE SIGNING. THIS IS A TOUGH CHOICE FOR JOHN GRUDEN. IF GRUDEN HAS QB TROUBLE THIS YEAR LOOK FOR HIM TO SIGN HIS BROTHER FROM THE AFL.
 
21. Washington Redskins -Kenny Phillips, S, Miami
  •  IF TOM CRUISE WAS AVAILABLE WITH THIS PICK DAN SNYDER WOULD GRAB HIM INSTANTLY. SINCE HE ISN’T KENNY PHILLIPS IS THE CHOICE. WHO WOULD BE BETTER TO REPLACE SEAN TAYLOR? PHILLIPS STOCK HAS DROPPED BUT I THINK THE SKINS WILL GRAB HIM HERE. DAN SNYDER HAS TRIED VERY HARD TO IMPROVE THIS TEAM. HE EVEN RAISED THE HEIGHT LIMIT AT SIX FLAGS TO ACCOMMODATE HIM AND TOM CRUISE. IF THINGS DON’T WORK OUT WITH COACH ZORN LOOK FOR THE SKINS TO MAKE A RUN AT BILL COWERS CHIN IN 09.
22. Dallas Cowboys (From Browns) -Dominique Rodgers Cromartie, CB, Tenn St
  • THIS GUY HAS SIZE,SPEED, AND SOME MORE STUFF. IT IS VERY WISH FULL THINKING THAT HE FALLS THIS FAR IN THE DRAFT. NOBODY KNOWS WHAT DALLAS WILL DO HERE OR EVEN IF THEY ARE GONNA PICK HERE. CROMARTIE COULD BE HUGE FOR THE BOYS. WITH 2 PICKS IN THIS DRAFT THE BEST TEAM IN NFL HISTORY HAS LOTS OF CHOICES.
23. Pittsburgh Steelers -Quentin Groves, D, Auburn
  • THE STEELERS WOULD BE ESTATIC IF GROVES FELL THIS FAR. THEY DON’T REALLY NEED THAT MUCH HELP ON THE D’ LINE BUT IF GROVES IS HERE YOU GOTTA GRAB HIM. WR IS ANOTHER OPTION HERE, BUT AS LONG AS NO OTHER WR’S BEAT THIER GIRLFRIENDS OR WIVES THEY WILL BE OK.
24. Tennessee Titans -Felix Jones, RB, Arkansas
  • LENDALE WHITE IS NOT THE ANSWER AT RB. I SEE THE TITANS GOING WITH A 2 BACK SYSTEM HERE AND GRABBING FELIX THE CAT. JEFF FISHER IS A GREAT COACH AND IF VINCE YOUNG THROWS LESS PICS AND HAYENSWORTH DOESN’T STOMP ON FACES…..LOOK FOR IMPROVEMENTS IN 08.
25. Seattle Seahawks -Kentwan Balmer, DT, North Carolina
  •  BALMER IS A VERY UNDERATED PLAYER IN MY MIND. THE SEAHAWKS COULD USE SOME GOOD RUN STOPPING, BALMER CAN HELP. PATRICK KERNEY IS A MONSTER AND BALMER COULD BE A HUGE ADDITION IF THIS IS THE PICK.
26. Jacksonville Jaguars -Phillip Merling, DE, Clemson
  • THE JAGS ARE A HARD NOSED TEAM IN SOME GIRLY JERSEYS. THE JAGS DON’T SEEM TO NEED HELP ON DEFENSE BUT THATS THIER MOJO. NOW ONLY IF THEY CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT THOSE JERSEYS.
27. San Diego Chargers -Branden Albert, OG, Virginia
  •  MR. NORV TURNER HAS A CHANCE TO DO BIG THINGS IN 08. O’ LINE HELP WOULD BE GOOD HERE. TOMLINSON CAN’T DO IT ALL HIMSELF HE NEEDS SOME BLOCKING. IT WOULDN’T HURT IF NORV GOT SOME NEW SHAVING RAZORS AS WELL.
28. Dallas Cowboys -James Hardy, WR, Indiana
  •  I SAY DALLAS TAKES A HUGE GAMBLE HERE WITH HARDY. WR IS A HUGE NEED AND HARDY HAS A HUGE UPSIDE IF HE CAN KEEP HIS HEAD STRAIGHT. RB IS A POSSIBILITY HERE BUT I THINK THEY WILL GET ONE IN THE SECOND ROUND. HARDY IS A BIG GUY AND IS IN THE KEYSHAWN JOHNSON MOLD. THIS WOULDN’T BE MY CHOICE BUT OH WELL. 2 PICKS IN THE FIRST ROUND. HIGH FIVES ALL AROUND! BEST TEAM IN NFL HISTORY HAS MANY CHOICES IN THIS DRAFT. MANNINGHAM WOULD ALSO BE A GOOD PICK HERE. SUPER BOWL OR BUST.
29. San Francisco 49ers (From Colts) -Mario Manningham, WR, Michigan
  •  THE 49 ERS NEED SOME WR HELP BADLY. MANNINGHAM WAS A GREAT COLLEGE PLAYER. COULD HE BE A GREAT NFL PLAYER? ALEX SMITH NEEDS SOME REAL HELP ONLY TIME WILL TELL IF MANNINGHAM IS THAT GUY. IF THE 49ERS DON’T IMPROVE SOON MIKE NOLAN MIGHT BE SELLING SUITS AT THE LOCAL SHOPPING MALL.
30. Green Bay Packers -Antoine Cason, CB, Arizona
  •  THE PACKERS REALLY STEPPED IT UP IN 07. BUT NOW THINGS ARE REALLY CHANGING BRETT FAVRE RETIRES, NOW IT’S MR .RODGERS NEIGHBORHOOD. I WAS THINKING OL HELP HERE BUT THE DB’S ARE GETTING OLD. CASON IS A SAFE PICK HERE. THE PACK SHOULD HAVE A STRONG DEFENSE IN 08. TO BAD FAVRE DECIDED TO WEAR THE WRANGLERS. HEE HAW!
  • WE LIKE TO CHEAT, OUR COACH LOVES TO WEAR SWEATERS WITH CUTOFF SLEEVES, RODNEY HARRISON LOVES THE HGH, AND WE STILL LOVE TO CHEAT
31. New York Giants -Brandon Flowers, CB, Virginia Tech
  •  THE SUPER BOWL CHAMPS NEED SOME CB’S. YOU CAN NEVER GET ENOUGH GOOD CB’S. BRANDON FLOWERS’ NAME MIGHT BE GIRLY BUT HE IS QUICK AND SOLID. CB IS THE PICK HERE. AND STRAHAN CAN FIT ABOUT 20 TOOTHPICKS IN HIS TEETH.
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