Redskins Fan Blames Norv Turner for Losing Streak to Cowboys

I am so glad I asked Gehenna to do a Q&A with me because this shit is hilarious. Gehenna is a Washington Redskins fan who constantly attacks me on MY blog. His IQ is probably average and he’s probably one of those weird middle-aged guys with one of those creepy mustaches. His real name is “Guy.” But, enough pulling Guy’s chain. Let’s get to business here. I asked this rabid Redskins fan five questions. He answers them with such articulation that I nearly fell to the ground from laughing so hard. Folks, this is FUNNY STUFF.

For example, he continues to have a man crush on Clinton Portis, like all Redskins fans do. He blames Jason Campbell’s mediocrity on the fact Tony Romo is so good (he doesn’t actually say it like that but read between the lines). But, I am giving away all of his funny comments. THIS guy is SERIOUS, too.

The best part is how he reveals he had a temper tantrum in one of the many losses the Redskins had against the Dallas Cowboys for the past decade. HE SCARED HIS POOR WIFE!

Sorry about the spacing problems I am having with this post. I tried to fix it several times to no avail.

Friends, welcome Gehenna, a rabid, psycho Redskins fan:

1. Todd Collins? What? Who? Why is Todd Collins doing better than your franchise QB Jason Campbell?

"Several points1. I think there’s a confidence issue between the coaches and Campbell. Gibbs has always had some trust issues with young qb’s and Saunders obviously knows Collins very well and trusts him more.2. Campbell is young and made some rookie mistakes at very key moments (see: Redskisn vs Cowboys a few weeks ago). We’ll see if he can grow out of that phase. Not everyone can be a Tony Romo, you lucky bastards (and even he has had a few problems).3. Gibbs has been too conservative most of the year, playing not to lose. He’d get a lead and try to sit on it, and we haven’t had the running game to support that regularly. Only when playoff hopes became desperate did he take off the kid gloves and play for keeps. He did the same thing two years ago; we had a slump in the middle of the season only to get a string of wins once our back was to the wall, just barely getting us into the playoffs.4. It’s not all Campbell vs Collins. Collins had little to do with the Redskins shutting out the Vikings in the first half or shutting down Adrian Peterson. The defense stepped up as well, and so has Portis (and for that matter, the rest of the team). The entire year we had been losing games by inches and somehow the last three games things finally clicked and they’re getting over that hump."

2. Coach Joe Gibbs has not been able to do much with the Redskins. Many people have seen a boring offense (not a touchdown to a WR until week eight) and incredibly questionable play calling. Then there is the double time out scandal. Is he just not a good coach anymore?

"He was way too conservative (see point #3 above). He’s been sitting on leads and it’s been blowing up in his face. Some of it was injuries; the offensive line got some real injuries, the wideouts played hurt, the running game was having trouble and I think Santanna Moss lost his confidence after the Packer-game debacle (all the dropped passes and the fumbles). The time out scandal definitely had me discouraged, though his savvy 12 men on the field challenge in the Vikings game was a nice sort of redemption.I also think there’s some sort of disruption in the chain of command and/or a lack of communication. The left hand doesn’t know what the right is doing. It’s inexcusable that Gibbs wouldn’t know that his own team planned to have only 10 men out on the field for the Bills game, and he doesn’t seem to know where the players are or how injured they are. And the time out problem really shames me. All that said, he’s my coach and I love him and I believe in him. I’m glad they offered him an extension and he can coach as long as he wants to as far as I’m concerned."

3. Time to trade Clinton Portis?

"I’m not sure what his cap situation is, but I still love Portis and I’m quite happy with him. He’s a great all-around back and I think we have much more important holes to fill. I doubt we could get much for him in draft picks anyway since running backs tend to be easily replaced (and then the media would start endlessly comparing the trade we made with Denver to whatever lesser trade we got for him this time around, which would make me want to shoot someone). Betts hasn’t impressed me as much this year and I’d like to see Portis stay as long as it doesn’t ruin our cap. And don’t listen too much to the talking heads who are saying we’re going to hit a cap wall this year; we’ll be fine."

4. What is your most pressing draft need?

"I want to say defensive line but I have to go with cornerback. Springs is doing well but he can’t keep it up forever. Smoot is a great #3 guy who’s really stepped up his game in the last few weeks, but I don’t want to have to live with him as a starter for much longer. Carlos Rogers hasn’t shown me enough and the injury he had will hamper him for a couple of years. Our defense tends to rely a lot on having shut-down corners."

5. Last time I checked, the Redskins have only one three of the last 16 games against Dallas. Yikes. You can’t say Dallas has had better teams during this streak. What is going on with the Redskins? Wow.

"I still remember the Thanksgiving game at Dallas when we had that game won and we were going to kill that damn winning streak of yours. We were running to kill off the clock in the final minutes of the 4th quarter and Stephen Davis fumbled and you guys made a quick drive to get the win. I got so mad I threw stuff around and broke a wall and scared my wife. You guys really had our number and it wasn’t until we had a meaningless game with a lame duck cowboys coach when we finally killed that streak and got the monkey off our back. Why did it happen? Well, for starters, we had Norv Turner. You guys knew him pretty well and you clearly knew how to stop him. Obviously that’s too simple an answer though, and Spurrier had trouble too. I think some of the Redskins of the Spurrier and Turner years tended to be me-first guys who wanted to be a Redskin because they wanted the big checks Snyder was handing out. There was an attitude and discipline missing in the locker room. They weren’t hungry for a win.Again, that’s probably still not much of an explanation, but beyond that I don’t really have an answer. I tend to attribute it as part of the Dallas-Washington mystique. Why did the Redskins sweep the cowboys the year they went to the superbowl while the Skins had a terrible record (not to mention Heath Shuler)? Why were the cowboys able to stop the Redskins during the skins last superbowl run? If it weren’t for the ‘boys, the Redskins probably would have swept and the Patriots would be looking to be the THIRD undefeated team (the Redskins 2nd loss came in a meaningless week 17 game against the eagles and even then they very nearly won).Throughout the years the cowboys and the redskins have had a lot of weird and memorable things happen. This is just another example. Since your streak, we’ve already had the two Santanna Moss touchdowns in 14 seconds and the blocked cowboys field goal that was returned with a face mask penalty for a Redskins win. What will come next? Who the hell knows? That’s why the skins-cowboys rivalry is the best rivalry there is. Ever."