Dallas Cowboys-Rowdy’s Attempted Power Grab

Inside sources tell me that, in the aftermath of the game ending debacle in Baltimore, Rowdy was livid about Jason Garrett’s perceived clock management ineptitude.

Aug 15, 2012; Oxnard, CA, USA; Dallas Cowboys mascot Rowdy visits with fans at training camp at the River Ridge Fields. Mandatory Credit: Kirby Lee/Image of Sport-US PRESSWIRE

So livid that last Monday he marched into Jerry Jones office and demanded a meeting with Jerry and Stephen Jones.  In the meeting, Rowdy laid out his case for why Garrett should immediately be fired and be replaced on an interim basis by him.  In laying out his case, Rowdy made the following points:

Excellent motivator-Rowdy pointed to his speeches to the team before home games and the results.  Case in point was the game against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, won by the Cowboys.  Stephen pointedly asked, “if that’s the case, why did the Chicago Bears beat us so badly at home?”

Rowdy responded with “if you will recall, my T-shirt gun was broken and you refused my previous request to by a new one to be used as a backup.  As a result, I wasn’t able to shoot T-shirts into the stands, which affected the ability of the fans to influence the game.  In other words, without those T-shirts, the fans were not as loud and supportive and the team felt it”.

Time clock management-Rowdy told them that he knows how to tell time, even on a clock or watch with hands, so keeping track of time with a digital readout would be a breeze.  And just to make sure he would not have the issues Garrett is having with the clock, he would assign someone on the Cowboys’ sideline to wear a huge digital clock on his chest that is tied to the official clock.

Fan support-We have seen it so many times.  When Garrett makes a mistake like the one on Sunday, many fans immediately call for his replacement.  Rowdy pointed out that he is a fan favorite, since so many fans get loud and support the team just because of his presence.

Jerry then said “let’s go back to the Bears game.  If just your presence causes that, why did we not have this kind of support for the Bears game?”  Rowdy responded with “perhaps I overstated my case.  The T-shirt gun is a necessary tool in my arsenal to ensure fan support.  Since I will have Rob Ryan continue to run the defense, I will use the time that we don’t have the ball to shoot shirts into the stands and get the fans into the game.”  (This should really be fun at away games.)

January 10, 2012; Gainesville, FL, USA; Florida Gators rowdy reptiles cheer during the second half against the Georgia Bulldogs at the Stephen C. O

Respect from the team-Rowdy stressed that there is not a member of this team that does not respect him.  He pointed out that he has received accolades from players for his willingness to risk the team being penalized in order to join in on the celebrations when they score.

Coaching ability-Rowdy’s expertise is in special teams and he made the point that, if he was in charge, the kick return TD would not have happened.  Says Rowdy “I would have risked a penalty by going out there and tripping him (the Ravens’ kick returner) myself, if I had to, and the penalty would have been less than letting them score the touchdown”.

In addition, Rowdy made the case for his ability to coach offense.  He talked about the game of Madden Football he played the night before the game, where the Cowboys beat the Ravens 35-21.  He said “the same plays would have worked on Sunday”.

Scouting ability-With his extensive background of watching film and helping the scouting department to select the best players for the draft and/or free agent signings, Rowdy makes the point that he has intimate knowledge of each player’s ability and the best way to use them.

Relationship with the officials-Rowdy admitted that he has not always had the best relationship with the officials, with them threatening to penalize the team over some of his antics, but did provide a plan for improvement.  The plan consists of taking them out for some fine dining the night before the game, followed up with a visit to the gentleman’s establishment of their choice.

Rowdy says “this might affect their ability to make proper calls the next day, if they are hung-over, but odds are they will penalize the other team more, due to fond memories from the previous night”.

Practice routine-Rowdy states that there must be something wrong with Garrett’s practice routine for the team to have receivers in two different games dancing around at the line of scrimmage, not getting set and causing a penalty.

Stephen asks, “how would your practices be any different?”  Rowdy responds with “invest in your team, invest in me, invest in an obstacle course.  All of that blocking, throwing and catching stuff is like riding a bike.  Get into a game and they know what to do.  So my practice routine consists of running the players through an obstacle course several times a week.”

Ultimately though, Jerry is loyal to his coaches and is very unwilling to make a change during the season.  He had the last word in this conversation saying “yeah Rowdy, your plan is pure genius.  Now get the #&^% out of here, you’re just a #%&*^#& mascot!!!