Tony Romo Buys $699,000 White and Black House

Tony Romo better get a home designer ASAP who likes blue and silver. Pictures of Romo’s new home are plastered all over the Internet. There are not any Dallas Cowboys star or colors anywhere in the house. Instead, it’s all black and white, with one of the most awkward master bathroom setups I have ever seen. Apparently, he only paid $699,000 for the home near Valley Ranch. Let’s take a look:

Here is a picture of the front of Romo’s new shack. Wait until you get inside!

Now seriously, what in the hell kind of set up is this? Is Jessica really going to stand for this? This reminds me of a bathroom you’d find in a really bad porn. And how ironic that there is a lady in the picture filming something. The all-black tile is gross and the tub in the middle of the floor seems more like a pitfall obstacle than something tasteful. What the heck was Romo thinking?

Now it is all white with a black accented table and bar stools? Who the hell decorated this place? Was the prior owner Gary Busey?

Finally an appealing shot. Not a bad angle. No ugly colors. Nice open windows. But there is that door that seems to go to nothing. Laundry room?

Not sure about this pool. Nothing says “I’m a $60-million quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys.”

Possibly the worst kitchen on Earth. Seriously, who wants a white kitchen? You make pasta sauce and the place becomes a red kitchen. And we know Tony loves pasta. Invest in some paint and new tiles. Just avoid the all black.

Not a horrible room, but it is all white with the black accents again. Where’s the 52-inch Samsung HD television? Why doesn’t he have a Dallas Cowboys blue and silver rug in this room? I mean, you cannot identify this as a home owned by the starting Dallas Cowboys quarterback, and that is a travesty.

Front door shot. I wonder if that floor is as slippery as it looks? How bad would it suck if Romo slipped on that ice floor and broke his kneecap? Yeah, it would suck. He needs to shag rug this place blue as soon as possible.