The Landry Hat » funny

IPCQ: Week 17, Dallas Cowboys VS New York Giants. Jerry owns Cowboys, Eli owns Jerry

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 13:00:38 +0000

I ntroduction: With firm nips and quivering lips, we awaited the unofficial playoff game between our beloved Cowboys and the always gritty Giants. I’ll admit, I felt that the Giants had the advantage here. Not only did they have the home field, but they always seem to finish seasons strong. Something inside me believed that Dallas was going to win this game. It was a gut feeling that made me feel good when I thought about the game. That feeling was called “being a homer”. Yes, I was being a homer. Still, if I had to bet, I would have bet on the Giants. Ever since their Super Bowl winning season, they have been the most stereotypically talented football team in the NFL. They can chew up clock on the ground, they have great pass rushers, they always seem to come up with a big stop, their receivers make big plays that seem to deflate the defense. Why do the Cowboys and Eagles always get the hype? It’s the Giants, man! The Giants have been the NFC threat all of this time! (more…)

IPCQ: Week 13, Dallas Cowboys VS Arizona Cardinals. We put the icing on our own cake.

Tue, 06 Dec 2011 13:00:12 +0000

I ntroduction: Jason Garrett was born in Abington, Pennsylvania on what was likely a cold and rainy night. His parents likely had high expectations, as is often the case in ginger bloodlines. Little Baby Jason would not disappoint. He attended high school in Hunting Valley, Ohio where he was a letterman in football, basketball, and baseball. Although he was capable in all three sports, he excelled in football. During his high school playing days, he managed to earn honors as a capable quarterback and safety. A bright-eyed Garrett graduated from University School in 1984. He foresaw even more greatness to come in the future. And he was right correct in his foresight.

Garrett went on to play quarterback for the prestigious Princeton University. He performed well, and at one point he even won the Ivy League Player of the Year honor. He currently holds the Ivy League record for career completion percentage. Garrett left college with his head held high, as he should. (more…)

Love/Hate: Week 1 versus Jets. No parachute

Tue, 13 Sep 2011 12:00:54 +0000

Cowboys lose!

“Hate” is such a strong word, but so is “Love”. By combining the two words, I have scientifically engineered the most powerful weekly article known to mankind. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Love/Hate. By Seth Jones.

I almost entitled this week’s edition of “Love/Hate” as “Hate/Hate”. Not because I hated EVERYTHING about the game, but because I have had an acidic bile taste in my mouth all night and all day. I’d rather the Cowboys have been losing 40 to nothing at halftime so that I could have turned the game off and played Windows Solitaire on my computer..And I SUCK at Windows Solitaire. But after drinking a very dark beer and eating several strips of deep fried chicken, the bile taste in my mouth has subsided. It has been replaced with the taste of America.

Beer and fried stuff. It was my tribute to America. But apparently, the Jets hate America. Because they beat AMERICA’S TEAM on September 11th!! Bastards… Here is “Love/Hate”. (more…)