Jan 01, 2013; Jacksonville, FL, USA; A general view of the Gator Bowl trophy on the sidelines during the second half of the game between the Mississippi State Bulldogs and Northwestern Wildcats in the Gator Bowl at EverBank Field. Mandatory Credit: Melina Vastola-USA TODAY Sports

The Six Flags Award (to the player providing the craziest rollercoaster ride)

Winner – Tony Romo: He rocketed to the top of the world in the week 1 win over New York but quickly fell back down throughout the first half of this forgettable season. Tony picked up speed again in the season’s second half and had his best December ever. But the wheels fell off in Washington as Romo plummeted back to earth. It’s getting to the point this award is almost a gimme for Romo.

Most embarrassing moment

Jerry Jones: 4 words- Jerry’s Papa John’s Rap.

yikes

Say “No” to Crack Award (for lose pants)

Runner-up – Dez Bryant for showing butt crack once, twice, three times…Someone get this guy a belt…or underwear…Good Lord, do something!!!!

Winner – Eric Frampton for exposing ¾ of a “moon” on national television. To make matters worse they replayed it on live TV in slow-motion placing the game announcers in a fairly uncomfortable situation. The only thing that could have made it worse is John Madden busting out his digital Sharpie and circling the offending Gluteus Maximus on his screen.

Ron Jeremy Award (to the biggest scorer)

Runner-up – Dez Bryant Dez scored a (non-kicker/non-quarterback) team-high 74 points logging an overwhelming majority of those points in the second half of the season.

Winner – Dan Bailey for scoring 124 points with deadly accuracy and providing multiple game winners. Many will say he’s a kicker and shouldn’t be considered for this but Bailey’s reliability in the kicking game was too much to ignore. It’s comforting to have at least one element of the team in order heading into an offseason of many questions.

Frightened Ostrich Award (for burying his head in the sand to escape the horrible truth)

Runner-up – Cowboy fans Too many fans refuse to accept the reality of the situation. They either criticize every part of the Cowboys team or make excuses for every part. The team structure is flawed in a way that makes winning almost impossible. The problem isn’t Jason Garrett, Tony Romo, Rob Ryan, or Jerry Jones alone. It’s the structure Jerry Jones has created that undermines the very goals this team seeks. Deep issues that may never be resolved.

Winner – Jerry Jones Jerry is the only person who can change the structure of the team. He is the Owner, General Manager, and President of the Dallas Cowboys. That’s too many hats for anybody to wear. It’s nothing personal, Tom Landry, Vince Lombardi, Mike Holmgren, and Bill Belichick wouldn’t even be able to do it. You can’t effectively split your time like this. It’s just too much. But Jerry refuses to see it. He blames someone/something else and plants his head firmly in the sand to avoid reality.

July 27, 2012; London, United Kingdom; Characters representing zombies come from the ground during the Opening Ceremony for the 2012 London Olympic Games at Olympic Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

Walking Dead Trophy

Unanimous Winner- Doug Free Free led the entire league in penalties totaling 15 for the year averaging nearly 1 penalty per game. Eight of those 15 were pre-snap penalties which are inexcusable especially at home. The penalties aren’t even the worst part. Doug Free was regularly beat by pass rushers and whiffed on run blocks. He placed Tony Romo’s health in jeopardy and made DeMarco Murray earn every yard.

The blank expression and heavy feet spurred team doctors to test Free for the Zombie virus. Results were not made public but insiders say the team fused the mouth guard to his jaw limiting his ability to bite others. Additional sources say he was also tied down to a chair during film sessions after he escaped the film room multiple times. In his defense, no one would want to watch his game film.

Raging Hemorrhoid Award (for the Cowboys’ biggest pain in the as*)

Winner – RGIII He plays a thrilling and reckless brand of football that’s hard to not love (unless you’re a Cowboy fan). He made the Cowboys look slow and clueless twice this season. Cowboy fans are not excited to play against him 2 times a season for the next 10-15 years. He takes a ton of hits (unfortunately not from the Cowboys), so word of advice to RGIII – change your style soon or your career could very well be prematurely cut short.

Oct 21, 2012; Charlotte, NC, USA; Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones point to the fans prior to the game against the Carolina Panthers at Bank of America Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Jeremy Brevard-USA TODAY Sports

Supreme Leader Award

Runner-up – Kim Jung-un is the Supreme Leader of North Korea and son of deceased Kim Jung-il. The North Korean leader is well known for his oppressively tyrannical government which regulates food, resources and earning opportunities of all citizens. But this pales in comparison to the winner…

Winner – Jerry Jones Whose nepotistic dictatorship of power and opinion, rule Valley Ranch with an iron fist of ineptitude and inadvertent self-sabotage. The Jones Dynasty is responsible for the murders of countless souls of the many Cowboys fans he promises to serve. Jerry’s son-in-law, the Minister of Spectacle Cleaning, refused to comment.

That’s all the awards for this evening but feel free to add to this list if you have any other award suggestions!

So, with that said, here is the first in a series of numerous post-season The Landry Hat Awards:

Tony Romo: Tony did have a few good games in there when he wasn’t hurt, but he had some pretty bad ones too. He was nowhere near the premier quarterback that we were supposed to have. Although his numbers aren’t bad (61% completion percent, 26 touchdowns with only 14 interceptions and a 91.4 percent QB rating), Tony didn’t show up in the big games like we needed him to (see: Dallas vs. Baltimore, Philadelphia). He gets worse as the season wears on, and has more Cowboys fans cursing his name than shouting it in joy.

Marion Barber: Barber was hurt for a majority of the season, but when he was playing, he was a shadow of the running back we’ve seen in past years. His 7 rushing touchdowns and 3.7 yards per carry as a starter left lots to be desired. Maybe he isn’t that starting running back we thought we had after all.

Mike Jenkins: The first-rounder from South Florida might not be all we expected him to be, either. He did have a nice interception return against the Giants, but he doesn’t look like he wants to tackle anybody. Jenkins finished with 19 tackles on the season, 17 less than fellow rookie and 5th round pick Orlando Scandrick.

Roy Williams: The safety looked lost for the few games he was on the field. His coverage is getting worse, he’s still absurdly slow and he can’t hit like he used to. A few fans probably applauded when he broke his arm.Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.