May 4, 2014 is an unofficial holiday for some. It’s Star Wars day, as in “May the fourth be with you”. Clever. Well, NFL writer Adam Rank took this opportunity to show some hate on the Dallas Cowboys. In this mock of a mock draft, Rank uses characters from the Star Wars series instead of college football players as his selections in Thursday’s first round of the 2014 NFL Draft.
Sure, it’s a tongue and cheek look at the draft. But Rank also uses it as a national forum to make fun of America’s Team, as he selects the most hated character in the entire Star Wars universe just for the Cowboys. And it’s not Darth Vader.
16. Dallas Cowboys – Jar Jar Binks
“Many of you probably speculated who would be the unlucky team to end up with Jar Jar. And while the Browns and Jets might have entered your mind, is there really any chance any team other than the Cowboys would end up with Jar Jar? This is the most Cowboysiest pick of all the potential beings, droids and creatures out there.”
Wow, Rank. I guess you can’t expect much from an “NFL writer” who does a Star Wars draft in the first place. I’m just surprised it would be published by the NFL. I’m all for professional criticism. Just look at the Cowboys poor record for the last four seasons. We deserve it. But hating on the team “just because” should never be allowed on the NFL.com site.
And exactly why are you implying that the Cowboys the “unluckiest” team in the NFL anyway? We are certainly the most popular. Check out the TV Ratings. What’s that? We’re the top television show in the nation? You don’t say? How about overall team worth? No. 1 again? ($2.3 billion). Super Bowl wins? 5. Super Bowl appearances? 8. Doesn’t sound unlucky to me. In fact, it sounds like our team is probably the most responsible for the income you receive from the NFL. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you.
And what about the crack: “the most Cowboysiest pick“? Which draft or draft pick are you referring too? Is it the 2013 NFL Draft where we landed starting center Travis Frederick and wide out Terrance Williams. Two prospects in the first round of Sports Illustrated’s recent re-draft? Or maybe it’s the 2011 draft of left tackle Tyron Smith and running back DeMarco Murray? Could it be the 2010 draft of wide receiver Dez Bryant and linebacker Sean Lee? Have there been misses? Sure. Just like every other NFL team. What makes those picks “Cowboysiest“?
Mr. Rank: Act like a professional and leave your Cowboys hate and your jealousy at the door when writing for NFL.com. If you want to spew this bile, do it somewhere else.