Dallas Cowboys Jerry Jones In Negotiations To Sell Team

For those that are unaware of it, a disgruntled fan posted a petition at the White House website this week, asking President Obama to remove Jerry Jones from ownership of the team.

Nov 18, 2012; Arlington, TX, USA; Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones on the field before the game against the Cleveland Browns at Cowboys Stadium. The Cowboys beat the Browns 23-20 in overtime. Mandatory Credit: Tim Heitman-US PRESSWIRE

Jerry decided to sell the team so that he can get his full $2 billion value for it, rather than have it taken over by the U.S. Government.  Would you be able to walk away from $2 billion?  I didn’t think so.  As a result, Jerry quickly found a consortium of individuals to step up and buy the team and diffuse this potential issue of a government takeover.

This consortium consists of the following:

Jimmy Johnson-Current Fox Sports football analyst, Jerry’s first hire as Head Coach and leader of the consortium, pegged to be Managing General Partner.  What sweet revenge for Jimmy to be able to buy the team from Jerry under duress.  Jimmy recently voiced concerns about the “country club atmosphere” with the Cowboys.  In keeping with that, his first move will be to take away all golf carts. 

Mel Kiper-Current draft expert for ESPN and future Director of Scouting for the Cowboys.  Mel has been full of himself and his scouting prowess for many years on the network.  But Jimmy has his own opinions on the draft and feels he can hit it big if he does the opposite of what Mel recommends.

 

Nov 1, 2012; Miami, FL, USA; Former Dallas Cowboys, and Miami Dolphins and Miami Hurricanes head coach Jimmy Johnson is seen on the sidelines during a game between the Virginia Tech Hokies and the Miami Hurricanes at Sun Life Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Steve Mitchell-US PRESSWIRE

Dr. Phil McGraw-Current talk show host and future Director of Player Health and Safety for the Cowboys.  Dr. Phil may not know s%*& about the players physical ailments, but he strongly believes he can get their minds right.  He feels that, with the correct mental attitude, physical injuries will be less.  I’m not holding my breath on that one.

Rowdy-Current Cowboys mascot and future Director of Marketing and Stadium Events.  If anything, Rowdy is a promoter.  Look for him to add more mascots so that every corner of the stadium is getting their shot at free T-shirts fired from the cannon.  You will also want to be at the game for free Rowdy hat night, although it will be no fun if you’re sitting behind someone wearing one of them.  Rowdy will, no doubt, feel that as part owner of the team, he has a better shot at replacing Jason Garrett as Head Coach, were Jimmy to fire him.

Mike Ditka-Current ESPN football analyst and future Director of Player Personnel for the Cowboys.  Wow!!  Do you remember the trade that Jimmy and Jerry made sending Herschel Walker to the Minnesota Vikings for seven players and draft picks?  What better contrast to that than bringing in the guy that traded his whole draft with the New Orleans Saints for the rights to draft Ricky Williams?  If you think this roster is a mess now, wait until he gets control of it.

Disclaimer: I don’t mean to be condescending but, if you believe this story is true, you might be a moron.

 

Topics: Dallas Cowboys, Jerry Jones, Jimmy Johnson

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  • wlinds1

    Why would you post stupid stuff like this knowing how emotional fans can be?

  • MJE

    I agree, wlinds 1, but don’t take it so seriously – or emotionally. This world is full of enough trouble and bad thoughts that the Cowboys present condition should rank very low on your list of what should make you emotional.

  • californy

    The only person JJ will sell the team to is Steven Jones

  • TimRat 11

    Who ever wrote this must have a boring life!!!! Get a Life!!!!!

  • BoruBrian

    Fact is, if someone did come with 2 billions, he woul have to listen. Jerry may have overshot financially with the stadium, and is desire is to be rich and owner of the Cowboys. With that stadium, he has an asset on the books, but not the money in his pocket. Who knows…Cowboys have not been America’s team for at least 15 years, so why not cash out while the brand means something,

  • kevin mac

    How stupid. wow .

  • robi

    shit head, poop face.

  • Kent Karlson

    Maybe if Texas secedes from the Union, the Cowboys will secede from Texas?

  • Richard Storm

    If the Cowboys don’t make the playoffs, I want Jerry Jones to keep Garret, Ryan, and Romo just to spite the hell out of all these fake ass Cowboys fans who want a damn change every damn year. Maybe then, these fake ass fans will get really pissy and go band wagon themselves to the Giants so that they can all suck on Eli! Maybe then, we will not have to hear all these cry babies all the time.

  • tootsiejazz2

    I was jumping for JOY…, but settled down to reality and stated , “How foolish”.

  • RB

    I have seen it all letting that drunk killer to stand on the sidelines of this game…I now hate every part the the cowboys and texas for that matter….Sick!

  • Doug Risch

    Whomever wrote this article should be ashamed if he calls himself a journalist, or even a writer. Real writers try to be a catalyst for intelectual thought and reflection, d-bags write articles like this.

  • JerryJonesIsAHomo

    Genius! If this could happen I could possibly be a cowboys fan…

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