For those that are unaware of it, a disgruntled fan posted a petition at the White House website this week, asking President Obama to remove Jerry Jones from ownership of the team.
Jerry decided to sell the team so that he can get his full $2 billion value for it, rather than have it taken over by the U.S. Government. Would you be able to walk away from $2 billion? I didn’t think so. As a result, Jerry quickly found a consortium of individuals to step up and buy the team and diffuse this potential issue of a government takeover.
This consortium consists of the following:
Jimmy Johnson-Current Fox Sports football analyst, Jerry’s first hire as Head Coach and leader of the consortium, pegged to be Managing General Partner. What sweet revenge for Jimmy to be able to buy the team from Jerry under duress. Jimmy recently voiced concerns about the “country club atmosphere” with the Cowboys. In keeping with that, his first move will be to take away all golf carts.
Mel Kiper-Current draft expert for ESPN and future Director of Scouting for the Cowboys. Mel has been full of himself and his scouting prowess for many years on the network. But Jimmy has his own opinions on the draft and feels he can hit it big if he does the opposite of what Mel recommends.
Dr. Phil McGraw-Current talk show host and future Director of Player Health and Safety for the Cowboys. Dr. Phil may not know s%*& about the players physical ailments, but he strongly believes he can get their minds right. He feels that, with the correct mental attitude, physical injuries will be less. I’m not holding my breath on that one.
Rowdy-Current Cowboys mascot and future Director of Marketing and Stadium Events. If anything, Rowdy is a promoter. Look for him to add more mascots so that every corner of the stadium is getting their shot at free T-shirts fired from the cannon. You will also want to be at the game for free Rowdy hat night, although it will be no fun if you’re sitting behind someone wearing one of them. Rowdy will, no doubt, feel that as part owner of the team, he has a better shot at replacing Jason Garrett as Head Coach, were Jimmy to fire him.
Mike Ditka-Current ESPN football analyst and future Director of Player Personnel for the Cowboys. Wow!! Do you remember the trade that Jimmy and Jerry made sending Herschel Walker to the Minnesota Vikings for seven players and draft picks? What better contrast to that than bringing in the guy that traded his whole draft with the New Orleans Saints for the rights to draft Ricky Williams? If you think this roster is a mess now, wait until he gets control of it.
Disclaimer: I don’t mean to be condescending but, if you believe this story is true, you might be a moron.