Nov 22, 2012; Arlington, TX, USA; Dallas Cowboys head coach Jason Garrett prior to the game against the Washington Redskins during a game on Thanksgiving at Cowboys Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Matthew Emmons-US PRESSWIRE

How Garrett Stole Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a time for Cowboy fans to rejoice in all that is great

Family, friends, food and football put the mind in such a wonderful state


Early in the morning flag football was played, grown men living out dreams of their past

Friends shared stories, swapped tales of their futures and realised their youth had gone by fast


Recovery was needed as muscles were sore

but there was no time to waste, for this day had much more


It was off to the in laws for family and feast

The food was magnificent, must have gained about 5 pounds at least


With a football game played and the feast all eaten

It was time to watch the Redskins get a beatin’


For now was the greatest time of the day

A chance to watch the great Cowboys play


With everyone so happy all snug on the couch

there was only one man who could be such a grouch.


There he sat alone in his office, looking out at the players about to play ball

Then he said “Look at all these people Robbie, enjoying their day, How can I turn it bad for them all.”


He thought hard and long and Robbie reached for his play card

“Of course I’ve got it. Its not even that hard”


He screamed with delight “I know how ruin this day”

“By the time I’m through with them there will be nothing to say”


The wicked man schemed, made out his plans and such

This is perfect we wont even change much


We’ll just do things as normal and start out the game flat

Surely these Cowboy fans won’t take kindly to that.


The evil man said “I cant do this alone you see”

“Robbie you will have to help, give up long passes from  RG3″


“Of course if we lose to soon, people will call me for a dope

We will have to score first to inspire some hope”


No matter how much they booo

we will get crushed in quarter number two.


The plan was so devious, so well constructed

All hope for the Fans had completely erupted.


He ruined the feast, everything began to taste foul

And each person in the room was met with a scowl.


All fun from the day had been set free

It was time wallow in self pi-tee


As the fans were dejected and thought no more coud they bare it

A lone fan stood up and said “It’s typical Coach Garrett.”


Our owner can’t see it, but it’s so obviously clear

This nightmare won’t end until he throws the evil Garrett out on his rear


I hope you all enjoyed my attempt at a rhyme about how bad the Thanksgiving game was.  I don’t think I can add any more to it than what has already been said. The Cowboys were a disgrace, this is the third game in a row where the team has not been prepared to play in the first half and the lack of prepardness is laid solely on the Head Coach. How Jason Garrett still has the job is beyond my belief, but its Jerry’s world and we are all just trying to figure out what he thinks he knows. The Cowboys had a shot at the playoffs, but the loss on Thanksgiving pretty much kills all of those dreams. Let the search begin for our next head coach, cause I don’t see how keeping him makes sense. Hopefully my 3rd grade rhyming ability did not scare you away, it couldnt have been as bad as the game we watched on Thursday.


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Tags: Fire Jason Garrett

  • Jolly Roger

    The NFL is dying to put a franchise in LA.

    I think “the Los Angeles Rhinestone Cowboys” has a great ring to it.

    • cowboys4life

      I Agree garret has to go come on S.Payton

  • real talk

    Safety B. Rambo of Georgia need to be drafted by the Cowboys!!!

  • roger

    Funny. Garrett stole Thanksgiving (and Christmas) by refusing to steal from the best. The saying goes that good artists steal a little, great artists steal a lot. You set you ego aside and you study from those that are producing. Then you take all their best stuff. Belichick runs a hurry up offense in NE, because it works. He used two pass-catching tight ends, because it works. Payton threw tons of ball to backs on screens and various shallow routes, because it pulled the safeties up. Then he threw over their heads. It works. In GB, they attack you with so many different receivers you have no idea whats coming. It works. But we get Garrett, rolling out the same tired stuff, never adapting, never taking the lessons from the true offensive geniuses. This is an ego thing. It’s about being too stubborn to admit that there are better methods out there.

    Cowboys fans should be irate that Garrett hasn’t even tried to get the fastest tight end in the draft involved in his offense. We have the guy on our team. His name is James Hanna. He’s been targeted twice all year. Check out his highlights from Oklahoma. Garrett has a guy in Hanna who is 250 lbs and runs a 40 under 4.5 and he can catch and…where is he? Take some of Belichick’s magic, mix in some of Paytons genius and see what happens.

    • cowboys4life

      I AGREE

  • Dietz

    Thanks guys… Im glad everyone realized this was just for fun, and is not as harsh as I am about my third grade level of rhyming… Let me address a few of the posts here

    about the Draft: At this point we have to see where the Cowboys land in the draft… I agree safety is a big need, but guys like Reid (LSU) and Elam (Fla) are the best guys to get at that position… They will need to replace Anthony Spencer so a guy like Montgomery (LSU) is a good fit… On offense they need to make a decision about Doug Free and if they let him go, they could look at the kid from Texas A&M…

    Roger: Garrett’s caoching style is basically a deer in headlights, and he needs other people to tell him what to do. The position is too big for him. When he was a OC his playcalling was good. As a HC his playcalling is God awful. His offense is so basic and so simple… As far as integrating Hanna, thats not a bad idea, I havent seen much at the NFL level that separates Hanna in the same class as the NE tight ends, but from what i saw in the preseason hanna looked competent.