IPCQ: The Dallas Cowboys select a Tyrannosaurus Rex

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I ntroduction: The Dallas Cowboys have many holes to fill during this off-season. Many would argue that they are in need of offensive linemen. While others would argue vehemently that they are in need on defensive players in both the secondary, and up front as pass rushers. While drafting a safety would solve some coverage issues, it wouldn’t be a major factor in pass rushing, as safety blitzes are relatively rare, due to the risk that in involved in taking down your safety net in a play. Drafting an offensive linemen is a great idea, as it would help every aspect of the offense. It all starts at the offensive line, after all. But what good with an efficient offense if your defense has more gaping holes than Nikki Manaj? (She has huge ear holes).

Drafting a specific position is the ONLY option in the NFL. In college, you can recruit a player as an “athlete”. Meaning, you can put him at wide receiver OR cornerback, according to his skill set and where he is needed the most. You can recruit a player who could excel at linebacker OR running back, depending on your team’s current depth at each position. The NFL almost never drafts a player without knowing exactly what position he will be specializing in. Sometimes a player will be drafted as a wide receiver, and they will later move him to cornerback or safety. Every now and then, a lineman will be shuffled around on the offensive line because of injuries to other players. But as a general rule of thumb, you draft to fill specific needs on your roster. You need a cornerback? You draft a cornerback. You need a running back? You don’t draft a linebacker who “could be converted to running back”. You draft a player who won awards and honors AS A RUNNING BACK. That’s just how it works.

In my continuing effort to help our beloved Dallas Cowboys think outside the box, and change our 15 year streak of bad luck, I have expanded the usual pool of draft strategies. Why not draft a player who can do it all? I implore Jerry Reginald Jones to consider drafting the original king of the jungle. The Tyrannosaurus Rex.

More laughs. Next Page.

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