It’s been a roller-coaster season for all Dallas Cowboys fans. And with the recent and not-so surprising news from Jerry Jones that he still refuses to hire a proper general manager for the ailing franchise, it doesn’t seem like America’s Team will be celebrating any time soon. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have a few laughs along the bumpy road. And one of my favorite ways to laugh is to check out David Letterman’s nightly Top Ten Lists on CBS’ Late Show. So in that same vein of comedy, we proudly present:
The Top Ten Items on Jerry Jones To-Do List for 2012
10. Make team lawyers list “hugs” as a contract incentive.
9. Finally deal with all that sexual tension between himself and Dave Campo.
8. Befriend Michael Strahan; Step 7 in the 12 Step Plan to get Jimmy Johnson back.
6. Keep asking Tony Romo for Jessica Simpson’s phone number.
5. Organize UFC title fight between Chad Hutchinson and Drew Henson. To the death, if possible.
4. Teach Tyron Smith how to shave. (They grow up so fast)
3. Have the “Get Your Popcorn Ready!” tattoo removed from left cheek.
2. Replace Mascot Rowdy with that adorable Pedobear.
1. Finally achieve the dream of sitting naked in the Owner’s Box during a game. (Cue music)
Take heart, Cowboy fans! We were one game away from the playoffs this year. With an entire season under their collective belts; DeMarco Murray, the young offensive line, and Rob Ryan’s defense should be better than ever. Brighter days seem to be ahead. So during these more trying times, let’s not forget our sense of humor. What could be better for venting some fan frustration then a good laugh?