Tony Romo, your x-rays gave Jerry Jones a woody, and he pretty much admitted it. I’m confident you will come out, regardless of the pain, and have a stellar day. If this team fails to make the playoffs, it will not be because you failed, but because the defense couldn’t keep the Giants from scoring 30+ points. Your play this season has been matched by only 1 person, and that is Mr. Discount Double Check himself. No matter the outcome of this game, I will not be screaming for the Cowboys to sacrifice four 1st round draft picks in order to draft Andrew Luck, or two 1st round draft picks to get RGIII. You will shatter all of Aikman’s records, except for the number of rings; I think you will get 2. But don’t fret, two is a lot better than your biggest hater, Warren Sapp has. (Side note: Sapp is a blabbering bubble of ex-fitness turned fat that talks down about household names to increase his twitter followers). Eli Manning got the Pro Bowl nod over you, but I’d think he would cry if Jan 1st was his last game for 8 months.
Felix Jones, your hamstring better hold up, or else. Literally. Don’t think because you played for Arkansas that Jerry won’t make you another footnote to a better, bruising back. You were drafted in the 1st round, and you need to start fitting the bill. We have seen spotty performances with splashes of brilliance, and I will speak for all of the Cowboys Nation: we are tired of it. Many of the backs taken after you have put up a heck of a lot better numbers; you need to live up to expectations, or you will find yourself stripped of your star. This is your time, don’t waste it.
Receiving Corp, this Giants secondary is awful, so you shouldn’t have any problem putting up crazy amounts of yards. It might take Romo having a 500 yd game in order to win, and I don’t doubt he is capable of doing it. To get into the playoffs, we can’t have any dropped balls, or even worse, tipped balls (*cough* Marty B *cough*). There are four Pro-Bowl caliber receivers in this receiving corp, although none of you got the Pro-Bowl nod. In Barger’s Big Chief Tablet, each of you gets a Pro Bowl nod.
Dwayne Harris, remember back in college when you tore it up on punt returns and kick returns? I think you do; I saw a glimpse of it last week on the 51 yard return. But I have to ask… how do you let a kicker stop you? Keep it up with the good returns and you can let the kicker stop you every single time in my book.
DeMarcus Ware, you need 5 sacks to beat Michael Strahan, and will probably need 2.5 to be the reigning sack champion. I want you to shatter the record. You need to be in Eli’s face starting with the coin flip. I want you to tackle him while the coin is in there air, just to let him know you are going to have your way with him. Eli had too much time to sit back, sip his tea with his pinky out, and throw passes to wide open receivers. Running for dear life has been proven to decrease passing efficiency by 1000%. Look it up. You want to be considered a leader, do it with your actions. Forget that stinger, forget everything except bringing Eli to the ground. Do that 5 times and you go down in history as the man that emerged from Strahan’s tooth gap.