IPCQ: Week 12, Dallas Cowboys VS Miami Dolphins. I ate turkey. The Cowboys ate dolphin

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P aragraphical Notage:

This game was a tale of two quarters. The Cowboys scored all of their points in the 2nd and 4th quarter. Why didn’t we score in the 1st or 3rd? Well, that’s an easy question to answer. Running the ball to the left side of the line is called out in the huddle by an ODD number. 33 blast, goes through the 3 hole, which is left of the center. The Cowboys ran to the left side on several occasions during this game. I have no evidence of that, but just stay with me here.

In an effort to congeal with this odd theme, Jason Garrett wanted to score an EVEN amount of points during the ODD quarters, so as to counter balance the inherent strategy and to throw the Dolphins off of the scent. Obviously, Coach Sparano was thrown off by this, and was unable to adjust to Garrett’s odd strategy. I want to give a cookie to everyone who finished this paragraph. Now, moving on. With or without your cookie, please take note of Tony Romo’s performance. Despite two interceptions early in the game, Romo played well. He completed passes to keep drives alive, he connected to receivers all over the field, and he threw two touchdowns.

Yes, Romo is 5-0 on Thanksgiving, and that’s awesome. But I would like to point out the fact that he has been playing well for weeks. He always seems to heat up as the weather gets cooler. The only concern with him is at the end of the season. The embarrassing slaughter that the Eagles dished out to us comes to mind.. Romo hasn’t ended seasons well. I’m hoping that he can keep playing smart, and making plays like he did against Miami.

Reggie Bush played well. Yeah, you heard me. The guy who was awarded the heisman trophy via media hype, and then sucked it up in the NFL for years, played well. It actually seems that the Dolphins are using him better than the Saints were. Who would have thought? The New Orleans Saints’ offense is set up to where Kermit The Frog could probably accrue 100 yard of receiving and rushing yards in a game if Sean Peyton wanted to include a Muppet in the game plan. Why couldn’t Reggie do anything there? Who the hell knows? Maybe Reggie has always been a dolphin at heart. That explains his slippery running style. PUN INTENDED! LOL!

Remember when I said that DeAngelo Hall was an ass? Add Brandon Marshall to that list. If you EVER read a story about Brandon Marshall, it will say one of two things: He either played extremely well, or he did something that would make Snidely Whiplash seem like a “pretty good guy”. Seriously, Brandon Marshall is more screwed up than the 2013 portion of the Mayan calendar. But his off-the-field antics do not negatively affect his performance. He is quite skilled in the art of wide receiving. He runs hard like Dez Bryant. He has great hands like Andre Johnson. And he performs at a high level during all 4 quarters like Steve Smith.. I know there are about 17 Steve Smiths in the NFL, just pick one. I’m sure they all do fine in the 4th quarter. Get off my back, dawg. Word? Sweet. Peace, slut.

Hey, what about Dan The Man Bailey? Huh!? Isn’t he great? Clutch! Not only is he accurate, but he seems to be unflappable. The game rested entirely on his kick, and he nailed it. Imagine if we still had kicking issues. This game would have been a loss. I’m telling you, a good field goal kicker is the difference in playoff appearances, Super Bowl appearances, and sometimes, they determine whether or not a great player will win a Super Bowl ring to add to his Hall of Fame induction. The Cowboys are heavily blessed by the presence of Dan Bailey on this roster. If I had to pick between having Dan Bailey on the roster, or having Martellus Bennett, I’d have to go with Dan Bailey. Believe it or not!

As far as Martellus Bennett is concerned. I’d like to say that I am glad that he wasn’t replaced by a goat. He has been catching balls lately. Maybe he has been..Practicing? And stuff? I don’t know. It sure would be nice if he turned into a reliable 3rd down receiver. In the past, he has dropped 3rd down passes AND touchdown passes. Even if Romo only throws him ONE ball a game, then he will be a treasure, if only he catches that one ball. If he was a reliable pass catcher, he WOULD get touchdown catches. He WOULD help us continue drives that otherwise turn into punts. And he WOULD be worth a roster spot. I haven’t given up hope on him yet. But, it’s so fun to make fun of him, because of his youtube videos. I feel like we share a bond. I TOO have competed in Olympic events that involve eating fried chicken. Although, it wasn’t really an event. I was just alone in my living room. And it wasn’t really fried chicken. It was a roast beef sandwich. My point is that we both eat meat, and because of that, we share a bond. And I just want my blood brother to succeed and help this team win a championship.

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