IPCQ: Week 12, Dallas Cowboys VS Miami Dolphins. I ate turkey. The Cowboys ate dolphin

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Why is quarterback Matt Moore stealing your girlfriend cheerleader in a Lambo?

I ntroduction:

Thanksgiving means many things. It means great weather (In Texas, anyway). It means great food. It means that you will see family members that you really don’t see very often. Even the bad ones. But somehow, the NFL has managed to muscle it’s way into this holiday like a bear moon walking through a flock of flamingos. At some point in American history, Thanksgiving Day became synonymous with football. And who can complain? Football makes turkey taste better. And turkey makes football more fun to watch. I think that Pat Summerall’s career benefited greatly from this. Sometimes when I used to watch Pat Summerall call a game, I would think that a turkey was in the booth.

But that is beside the point. Football is now engraved into the Thanksgiving Holiday. For that, I thank the NFL. But they took it a step further. They didn’t just throw us some rubbish games. Well.. They do play a Lions game every year.. But they give us America’s team! Every Thanksgiving, while we eat our turkey, ham, buttered rolls, and hook ourselves up to an IV filled with sweet iced tea, we get to watch the greatest NFL franchise to have ever graced television sets. We get the Dallas Cowboys. For me, this game means a little more. It is almost as if I’m watching the USA play Olympic basketball. It feels like we’re SUPPOSED to win. I understand that this is a regular season football game, and that this game is no more important than any other non-conference game. But this game is played, as a tradition, during one of the most beloved holidays in this country.

Everybody is happy by default, and if the Cowboys lose, it’s almost as if Santa decided not to give our kids any toys. And by the way, my son is 8 years old and Santa has NEVER given him any toys. Every year he wakes up to nothing, and we always feel really bad for him. So we go out and buy him a gun or something. Or sometimes a buck knife. And I don’t appreciate Santa skipping our house just because we don’t have a chimney. Hello, Santa! Not everybody makes 5 figures a year!

Where was I? Thanksgiving.. Cowboys.. Uhh.. Pat Summerall.. Oh, yeah! The Cowboys and Thanksgiving go hand-in-hand and they owe it to us to win this damn game! Luckily, Dallas played well enough to win. JUST well enough to win. And in the NFL, JUST ENOUGH, is perfectly fine with me. Mark down that W and then scroll the hell down, I’ve got some notage on this game.

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