IPCQ: Week 8, Dallas Cowboys vs. Philadelphia Eagles. The Boys looked like "CAW! CAW!"

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By Seth Jones.

Dio!

I ntroduction:

DeMarco Murray averaged 9.3 yards per carry Sunday night against the Eagles. Laurent Robinson accrued 103 receiving  yards and a touchdown. DeMarcus Ware had 4 sacks. If you hadn’t watched the game, and you were told these stats, then you may very well assume that the Cowboys destroyed the Eagles. However, those were just about the only positive things that the Cowboys accomplished Sunday night.

Let’s face it. Andy Reid basically pulled the car over and made Jason Garrett pick out a limb. Garrett picked a twig, and Reid shook his head, and then pulled off a branch that resembled Indiana Jones’ bullwhip. The Cowboys were victims of an absolute butt whipping. One of those angry “I can’t believe you just called your mother a slut!” butt whippings. One of those butt whippings that make you wonder whether or not the other team is playing by the rules. I mean, I haven’t gone back and checked every single play, but I THINK that the Eagles only had 11 men on the field at a time. Am I right? Did I miss the 12th or 13th man? Did the NFL allow the Eagles a one-time boon to help them build their record up to their pre-season expectations? I’m going to assume that they didn’t. Besides, Michael Vick wouldn’t allow it. He is far too classy to break a rule, a law, or a moral code.

You can sense my sarcasm, yes? Well I shouldn’t type things like that. It’s not HIS fault that we sucked it up Sunday night. Yes, he contributed to our thrashing, but that type of loss is inexcusable. I can understand a huge loss at the college level. The discrepancy between talent on each team’s roster can be a mile wide. But in the NFL, where you fight for every inch. Where you stay up 18 hours a day preparing for your next opponent. Where 90% of the players work their asses off every day so as to not give their opponent an edge. Such a game is despicable. The final score was 34-7, but it may as well have been 45-0. It was more of a 45-0 game, after all. A Cowboys trash TD in the 2nd half and an Eagles offense that was just trying not to get hurt or turn the ball over helped this game look a LITTLE less pathetic. But don’t be fooled. The Cowboys performed just as horribly as it seemed, and beyond.

The Cowboys played like the white poopie that eagles spill forth from their bird rectums as they fly over the canyons of New Mexico. Where do they go from here? What the hell do they do? Well, one thing is for sure: Whatever they did against the Eagles, they don’t do THAT again. Can you learn from a loss? Yes. Will Jason Garrett, Rob Ryan, and the Cowboy players learn from this loss? Yes. But that doesn’t mean that they will improve. It that were the case, then every team would finish around .500 every year. After 6 years of the Romo,Witten, James, Hatcher and the rest of the cast, my brain keeps saying “BLOW IT UP! BLOW UP THAT ROSTER!” I understand that we have talent, but have we not been hearing and saying that for 6 years? This team almost makes me think of hard drive with a hardcore virus deep within it’s partitions. If you can’t find the virus, then you need to wipe the entire hard drive. Seriously, are we happy with a mediocre team year in and year out? I sure as hell am NOT. The Cowboys aren’t just “some team”. It’s the freakin’ Dallas Cowboys!

I should calm down. Lemme calm down. Calming down…. Ok.. The season isn’t over. We still have great skill players. Our line can only improve as time goes on. Our defense is capable of greatness. We have DeMarcus Ware! Screw it, let’s stay on this ship. Tharr be booty ahead. Let’s go get some booty. 

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