By: Joe D.
Tiger Woods will have a press conference on Friday. He will discuss his transgressions, his future in golf, and he will apologize. The world will be listening. According to public relations experts on sports talk radio, Tiger will be contrite and will explain how he is flawed and how he seeks forgiveness from the public and his family who he betrayed.
You know what I’m hoping he says? First I hope he says that people are too nosy and they need to mind their own business. He’s a professional golfer and not an elected official. He’s not a member of the clergy. People want to be Tiger Woods because he achieves greatness on the golf course, not because he’s a family man. But he will say he is sorry, incredibly sorry. He’s a man who made an unbelievable mistake. He doesn’t know why he did it, but his regret is so very deep. Why, oh why did he ever get MARRIED!
Then I hope he puts on his very best Chris Rock impersonation. People say the tiger who mauled Roy from Sigfried and Roy went crazy. That tiger didn’t go crazy, that tiger went tiger!!! This billionaire athlete went billionaire athlete. Tiger Woods may be the very first billionaire to have to apologize to the public for hedging his bets.
Michael Jordan was surreptitiously notorious about his extra curricular activities. The Chicago media didn’t mention word one. It wasn’t because they didn’t want to disrupt Jordan’s home life. Maybe they kept quiet because it was none of their business or it was a different time. I tend to believe because the media suckled at Jordan’s teet. He drove interest in the sport to new heights. Tiger is amazingly similar. Tiger is the best athlete in his sport and without him, golf is a niche market. TV ratings plummet, sale of gear plummets, and the player’s prize money plummets. Yet Tiger has to suffer the slings and arrows of lesser players without 1/10 of Tiger’s outrageous fortune. And since when have men sided with Sue Ellen over JR?
Now how does this relate to the Dallas Cowboys you may be wondering. Not very well I will respond. Though Tony Romo is as close to Jordan and Woods as the Cowboys have. Quarterback, golfer, dater of starlets. Women love him, and men want to be him. Despite heavy pressures, he successfully avoided the nuptial trap like he avoids defensive lineman running free. He has received criticism for not focusing solely on football. Tony should never have to apologize for doing what every man would love to do in his spare time and I will never call for his apology.