Cincinnati Bengals Fan Auctions Off Fanship
The Cincinnati Bengals are an awful team with an even more awful owner. Year after year they stink. Well, the Dallas Cowboys play the Bengals this Sunday, and there’s an opportunity to pick up a new Cowboys fan.
This guy has had it with the Bungals. He’s auctioning off his fanship to the highest bidder, with the proceeds going to the Leukemia Society. Here is what the poor guy has to say:
I was born on August 15 1984. My first Bengals memory is attending David Klingler’s first start at Riverfront Stadium. This happened in 1992. So ever since I can remember, the Bengals have been terrible (94-167). I was teased in 2005, but in true Bungel fashion they have really “restored the roar”.
Because of this, I am offering to become a fan of your team for the rest of the season. Any team. Any city. I will buy gear (hat, tshirt), and cheer on your team every Sunday. Lucky for you, I have the Sunday Ticket so I won’t miss a game. I will do everything I can to let you know that I am a fan of your team. I will send pictures and emails so you know I am leading the charge in Cincinnati for whatever team you like. Browns, Steelers, I don’t care. As long as you promise to never give Mike Brown a dime of your money, your team will get a new biggest fan.
I am not doing this to make any money. Any money that you bid will go directly to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. I have selected that 100% of the sale goes to this non-profit organization. I can provide proof of this if I need to.
I AM doing this because I have given up all hope. I want to know what it’s like to be a fan of a team who has an owner and front office that cares about its team and the people who support his team. I will use this year as a trial run. If I have fun cheering on your team, you will have a fan for life. Feel free to send over any questions, I will do my best to answer them.
I don’t want to cheer for the Bengals on Sunday, so I am setting this up as a 5 day auction. You will have a new fan on Sunday.
We’ll take you, kid! Jerry Jones is on the phone trying to close this auction now. Go get your Marion Barber and Tony Romo Jersey and start rooting for the Boys! What a perfect week to make the switch because we face your awful team this Sunday. Welcome to the Cowboys, kid!
UPDATE: I am currently the high bidder! He will be a Cowboys fan by week’s end!
You guys must be drunk. Did you watch last week’s game? Why would he root for a team who’s quarterback throws a pick in 90% of the games? GO ‘SKINS!
October 1st, 2008 at 10:46 amSigh.
October 1st, 2008 at 10:52 amfair weather fans are great! dont sigh. i’ve got a fan like this in my family! never hear a word about the skins til they made playoffs last year then all of a sudden he had skins myspace background and left comments left and right for me…… true fans of america’s team rough it out through the 5-11 seasons. any NFL city in the country knows who our QB WR and RB is they know when we win and when we lose love us or hate us they make noise… skins get heard about this week because they beat us…… this monday? they’ll just be the fools in some mcnabb highlights
FEED ME MORE HATE!!!
October 1st, 2008 at 11:00 amWow James, aside from this weekend, I could care less what the Cowboys do. I know if you make the playoffs you won’t win a game.
I know who your QB is because he is banging Jessica Simpson, I know who your wide out is because he cries and takes too many pills. Who is your RB? Oh yeah, on Sunday you didn’t have one I think.
WhoDey
October 1st, 2008 at 2:03 pmI guess your bad jokes are all you have to fall back on with such a horrible team.
October 1st, 2008 at 9:00 pmThen you guess wrong. My jokes are awesome, and the upset in dallas is going to be more awesome.
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:51 pm[...] remember this guy I wrote about who is running this eBay auction? Well, his name is Evan, and he is a 24-year-old [...]
October 5th, 2008 at 2:00 amInteresting information, I appreciate knowing that the Seattle Seahawks are not the only team that are losers. I don’t have to feel so embarrased that are team is lame!…Thank you for letting me know.
Best regards,
October 21st, 2008 at 10:44 pmJonathon
homebasedphilosphy@getresponse.com
http://www.networkmarketer2.com/mike-klingler