The Cincinnati Bengals are an awful team with an even more awful owner. Year after year they stink. Well, the Dallas Cowboys play the Bengals this Sunday, and there’s an opportunity to pick up a new Cowboys fan.
I was born on August 15 1984. My first Bengals memory is attending David Klingler’s first start at Riverfront Stadium. This happened in 1992. So ever since I can remember, the Bengals have been terrible (94-167). I was teased in 2005, but in true Bungel fashion they have really “restored the roar”.
Because of this, I am offering to become a fan of your team for the rest of the season. Any team. Any city. I will buy gear (hat, tshirt), and cheer on your team every Sunday. Lucky for you, I have the Sunday Ticket so I won’t miss a game. I will do everything I can to let you know that I am a fan of your team. I will send pictures and emails so you know I am leading the charge in Cincinnati for whatever team you like. Browns, Steelers, I don’t care. As long as you promise to never give Mike Brown a dime of your money, your team will get a new biggest fan.
I am not doing this to make any money. Any money that you bid will go directly to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. I have selected that 100% of the sale goes to this non-profit organization. I can provide proof of this if I need to.
I AM doing this because I have given up all hope. I want to know what it’s like to be a fan of a team who has an owner and front office that cares about its team and the people who support his team. I will use this year as a trial run. If I have fun cheering on your team, you will have a fan for life. Feel free to send over any questions, I will do my best to answer them.
I don’t want to cheer for the Bengals on Sunday, so I am setting this up as a 5 day auction. You will have a new fan on Sunday.
We’ll take you, kid! Jerry Jones is on the phone trying to close this auction now. Go get your Marion Barber and Tony Romo Jersey and start rooting for the Boys! What a perfect week to make the switch because we face your awful team this Sunday. Welcome to the Cowboys, kid!
UPDATE: I am currently the high bidder! He will be a Cowboys fan by week’s end!