Ode To Bryant Gumbel: We Will Not Miss You

bgumbel.jpgIn honor of Bryant Gumbel’s retirement from NFL commentary, I have collected a series of some of his best moments. You guys ready for this?

First, before I list some of this guys gaffes, let me preview him with this quote from a Washington Post article:

“When Bryant Gumbel made critical comments about the NFL before this season, outgoing NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue suggested that Gumbel might be relieved of his new duties as play-by-play broadcaster for NFL Network games. As it turns out, the NFL shouldn’t have fired Gumbel for his remarks, it should’ve dumped him because his play-by-play work, well, stinks.”

  • “And here come the Green Bay Packers” (as the Dallas Cowboys come out of the tunnel. What a dolt!)
  • “Marion Barber is the heartbeat of the Green By offense.”
  • Gumbel : “Oh it looks like Akin Ayo… wait that’s Bradie James.. is hurt.”
    Collinsworth : “That’s Kevin Burnett.”
  • Gumbel called Nick Folk, Nick Arizona. (Yes, Folk graduated from the University of Arizona, but can this guy read a damn script?)
  • “Mike Bell makes the catch, and it looks like he’s got the first down.” “The Broncos actually got the first down on the previous play, and Gumbel was unaware of it the rest of the series.)
  • We will interview Rick Romo after the game. (Dipshit, his name is Tony Romo!)
  • Larry Johnson goes up the middle, and he goes nowhere.” (LJ actually got a first down on the second-and-short run by about two yards.)
  • Gumbel calls Roy Williams Ron Williams. (Jesus!!!!)
  • “So try not to laugh when someone says these are the world’s greatest athletes, despite a paucity of blacks that makes the Winter Games look like a GOP convention.” (Gumbel speaking about the winter Olympic)
  • “We’re about to start the second period, and we’ll be right back.” (Bryant, you are calling a damn football game, not hockey. There are no periods!)
  • “It appears he has made a first down” (when it is clear as day that the ball is 5 yards past the yellow line)
  • “It’s True!” (Bryant says this after every field goal. I have no idea what the hell it is supposed to mean. What is a lying field goal kick?)
  • “Maybe it was all that butter from the Popcorn from earlier.” (He said this after T.O. bobbled a pass. Gee, Bryant, that was so intelligent. That was real unique, kid)
  • “And Williams gets baptized at the twenty yard line.” (Enough said on this one)
  • Gumbel: Let me just make note that we do not have indigestion up here. We had a mike open somewhere. We heard a couple of noises that were not of our doing, shall we say.
    Collinsworth: Thank you. I was wondering if those ribs impacted a little more than I knew.
    Gumbel: Either that or I’m a great ventriloquist.

Thanks to Awful Announcing for some of the quotes and comments.

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