Everyone knows that the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders are so freaking hot. Oh they are so sexy hot. So it’s sort of a contradiction for them to be teaming up with a company known for unclogging shitters.
We men know hot women don’t shit. Right?
Apparently, they do. Or at least, they spend more time than we do relieving ourselves. This partnership is to advertise rotorooter’s contest to give away a “Pimped-out” bathroom. They will outfit your bathroom into a palace it appears, loaded with a big-screen HDTV, a computer, a coffee machine, a deodorizer, and a bunch of other odd gadgets. Shit, and no pun intended, I even applied for the damn contest just for the HDTV. Go to Rotorooter.com to sign up for the contest! WOo hoO!
Paul Abrams, Roto-Rooter’s public relations flak, explains why rotorooter felt it necessary to ruin the reputations of these hot ladies:
“The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders are not only notoriously feminine, they’re extremely busy. To be a member of the squad, the women must be enrolled in college or working part or full-time, not to mention the long hours of physical and mental conditioning they go through to make the team. Whether waiting for practice to start or to hit the field, they spend hours in locker rooms each week where they not only get ready and perfect their routines, but also do homework and check e-mail. As football mania sweeps the nation, we’re honored to partner with the NFL’s most elite squad — perfect representatives for a prize specifically designed to rejuvenate women pressed for time.”
Hey Paul, I am pressed for time, too. But I am not sure I need you to come redo my bathroom, ya know? I am not sure I want to massage my feet as I am exerting a deuce into a massaging toilet that sprays water into my ass crevice after I finish. But, I will take your HDTV and computer ya damn fool.
You can see a cutesy video the babes did for rotorooter here. Unfortunately, no cheerleader actually drops the skirt to sit on one of the massaging toilet seats.