Hi, I am Bryant Gumbel. Please Shoot Me. Yes Me. And Then Him!

For nearly four hours I was subjected to some of the worst play-by-play football announcing ever in the history of the NFL. And all on a network that cable companies and the NFL make half the country pay for because it’s “that good.”

I am speaking about Bryant Gumbel. Folks, how does this guy have a job in the NFL? What the hell are they thinking?

Let’s review some of the Gumbel Fumble Follies:

Kevin Burnett is on the bench, with a possible hurt shoulder.

1. Gumbel : Oh it looks like Akin Ayo… wait that’s Bradie James.. is hurt.
Collinsworth : That’s Kevin Burnett.

2. Gumbel says “Rick Romo” will be interviewed after the game. Yes, he said Rick. Then, earlier, he calls him Antonio Romo.

3. Gumbel called Nick Folk, Nick Arizona. Yes, Folk graduated from the University of Arizona, but can this guy read a damn piece of paper? Come the hell on!!!

4. At the beginning of the second half, Gumbel announces it as the second period. This ain’t hockey douchebag!

5. “Marion Barber is the heartbeat of the Green Bay offense.”

6. “Here comes the Green Bay Packers” Gumbel said as the Cowboys came out of the tunnel.

Finally, what the hell is that turkey gizzard hanging from his damn neck. Get some damn plastic surgery, Mr. Moneybags. Man, I know you’ve lost a lot of weight, but get that shit tucked in. And find a new job. You are HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!

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